SandwichShortOfAPicnic
Forum GOD!
I find with my siblings (and a lot of people in general) that a definitive statement saying I’m not doing this anymore can cause a lot of upset, where as a slow withdrawal has the same effect but doesn’t seem to cause any grief.
Just for example, breaking the back of driving people to n fro can be as simple as saying oh sorry I’m not available, the uber app is good though, give that a try.
However do I practice what I preach? No, not always, especially with my brothers.
Usually because by the time I’m saying something I’ve been putting up with things I don’t like and the situation has got out of hand. I’m annoyed with them for not doing what needs to be done. This sometimes spills out in me telling them directly what I think about their behaviour in an unfettered fashion and arguments will follow.
Fortunately I was brought up in a house where being brutally honest was encouragesd so we’re all used to taking a verbal lashing and just shake it off. We can literally go as far as shouting or swearing at each other and have a nice cup of tea together within the hour.
But it’s always easier and smoother using the other method. Since I started treating them like I would a friend rather than a sibling our relationships have improved tenfold.
They quickly picked up on what I was doing and now do the same. I would go as far to say some of our messages have even been quite loving and some very caring which is unusual for people who grew up in a house where toughness and not needing anyone was so prized. It was a small tweak but it’s made a huge difference.
Just for example, breaking the back of driving people to n fro can be as simple as saying oh sorry I’m not available, the uber app is good though, give that a try.
However do I practice what I preach? No, not always, especially with my brothers.
Usually because by the time I’m saying something I’ve been putting up with things I don’t like and the situation has got out of hand. I’m annoyed with them for not doing what needs to be done. This sometimes spills out in me telling them directly what I think about their behaviour in an unfettered fashion and arguments will follow.
Fortunately I was brought up in a house where being brutally honest was encouragesd so we’re all used to taking a verbal lashing and just shake it off. We can literally go as far as shouting or swearing at each other and have a nice cup of tea together within the hour.
But it’s always easier and smoother using the other method. Since I started treating them like I would a friend rather than a sibling our relationships have improved tenfold.
They quickly picked up on what I was doing and now do the same. I would go as far to say some of our messages have even been quite loving and some very caring which is unusual for people who grew up in a house where toughness and not needing anyone was so prized. It was a small tweak but it’s made a huge difference.
