Are you cooking more or less since COVID shut down the world?

[TastyReuben]

The Late Night Gourmet - wow, that's a lot to go through. I can commiserate a bit; my nephew is currently serving a lengthy federal prison sentence, due to an addiction problem, made worse by untreated mental health issues.

Like they always say, he was the last one you'd suspect, and threw away a fairly successful professional life for one that, to be brutally honest, has no real future.

Human life being what it is, I'm sure just about every one of us has something like that they're going through: addiction, job loss, sickness, death of a loved one, relationship problems, abuse, you name it, and some of the members have shared their situations.

To anyone suffering, out loud or in silence, I hope you find peace, and some way to deal with whatever you're dealing with. Share, cook a meal, go for a run, confront it head-on, talk to a professional...whatever helps.

 

[rascal]

I'm sorry for what you're going through, but I'm glad you shared because I'm realizing a big part of my reason for cooking less. My daughter also has severe problems, and they're dragging the family down with them. It sounds like your situation is similar to mine. We've had to add a lock to our bedroom door because we've begun to realize she's been stealing things to feed a massive drug habit. My son also asked or a lock to be added to his door because he doesn't trust her when he goes to bed at night. We've been dealing with this for so long that it's become a part of our everyday lives, which is why I didn't think of it as a factor! But, it clearly is. If nothing else, know that you're not alone in what you're experiencing.

Thoughts go out to you both. Windigo you need to put a lock on your door!
Chasing the dragon with drugs is an uphill battle. I don't know what to say? Just be strong for her and counselling? I know the states have a lot of rehabs there?

Russ

 

[rascal]

The Late Night Gourmet - wow, that's a lot to go through. I can commiserate a bit; my nephew is currently serving a lengthy federal prison sentence, due to an addiction problem, made worse by untreated mental health issues.

Like they always say, he was the last one you'd suspect, and threw away a fairly successful professional life for one that, to be brutally honest, has no real future.

Human life being what it is, I'm sure just about every one of us has something like that they're going through: addiction, job loss, sickness, death of a loved one, relationship problems, abuse, you name it, and some of the members have shared their situations.

To anyone suffering, out loud or in silence, I hope you find peace, and some way to deal with whatever you're dealing with. Share, cook a meal, go for a run, confront it head-on, talk to a professional...whatever helps.

So true tasty, I'm available with an open ear for anybody. I chat with a guy from Arizona who has issues from his childhood. This is another site. We chat a bit via pm and I like to think he vents on me to relieve pressures he feels. He have similar loves in cars and planes.

Russ

 

[Windigo]

I'm sorry for what you're going through, but I'm glad you shared because I'm realizing a big part of my reason for cooking less. My daughter also has severe problems, and they're dragging the family down with them. It sounds like your situation is similar to mine. We've had to add a lock to our bedroom door because we've begun to realize she's been stealing things to feed a massive drug habit. My son also asked or a lock to be added to his door because he doesn't trust her when he goes to bed at night. We've been dealing with this for so long that it's become a part of our everyday lives, which is why I didn't think of it as a factor! But, it clearly is. If nothing else, know that you're not alone in what you're experiencing.

That is really unfortunate 😔 it does sound similar. We've also dealt with it for long, but the antisocial behaviour has only started about a year ago so that's why we're still actively trying to figure this all out.

Cooking is just hard to do without any focus, and this type of situation can wear one out completely.

It's a shame your son also suffers from it, we also worry about our youngest. If the results are bad enough, the eldest will not be allowed to stay with us anymore to protect the youngest.

We have a bedroom lock too because we can't be sure what he might do when angry. Also have a pantry lock because he steals things intended for his brother.

 

[Morning Glory]

We've had to add a lock to our bedroom door because we've begun to realize she's been stealing things to feed a massive drug habit.

Believe me I've been through this mill. My youngest (adult) son was in a similar state and also had a manic psychological disorder. He was literally out of control, self harming and smashing the house up. He was prescribed anti psychotic meds (which didn't seem to do any good). He was still living here at the time and I can only say my life was hell. I don't know how I got through it. The story is a long one. Unlike both you and Windigo, I found solace in cooking. It was my escape. And now I come to think of it, is probably the reason I became obsessed by cooking. I hadn't quite realised this before.

 

[Windigo]

Believe me I've been through this mill. My youngest (adult) son was in a similar state and also had a manic psychological disorder. He was literally out of control, self harming and smashing the house up. He was prescribed anti psychotic meds (which didn't seem to do any good). He was still living here at the time and I can only say my life was hell. I don't know how I got through it. The story is a long one. Unlike both you and Windigo, I found solace in cooking. It was my escape. And now I come to think of it, is probably the reason I became obsessed by cooking. I hadn't quite realised this before.

Interesting, I can imagine cooking can be a great way to get your mind off things. I bake cakes when I feel bad because they turn out great every time as long as you stick to the rules. That's relaxing to me.

Yes our eldest is also prescribed anti psychotics but same problem, they don't seem to work even though he gets a higher dose each time he sees the psychiatrist.

 

[Morning Glory]

Yes our eldest is also prescribed anti psychotics but same problem, they don't seem to work even though he gets a higher dose each time he sees the psychiatrist.

In the end he came off them and the drugs. He literally went cold turkey against all medical advice. For three weeks he was literally shivering and moaning in pain and hallucinating. But he did it. I'll never forget it, that's for sure. But he turned a corner. He went on an access to Higher Education course and then University. He still has anger management issues but its pretty much under control.

 

[TastyReuben]

He was prescribed anti psychotic meds (which didn't seem to do any good).

Yes our eldest is also prescribed anti psychotics but same problem, they don't seem to work even though he gets a higher dose each time he sees the psychiatrist.

From my limited understanding of anti-psychotic meds, their effectiveness is highly dependent on the chemical makeup of the person's brain, and what meds and what dosages are like a custom mix for that one individual, and can take quite a long time of trial-and-error before hitting on the right mix.

The nephew in prison - he's bipolar. Led to some very bad decisions whenever life threw something unexpected at him. I have another nephew (from different parents) who is currently going down the road of trying to get the right prescription.

He's the one I really worry about. He doesn't like talking about what he's going through or his therapy, but what it sounds like is something like borderline personality disorder or dissociative personality disorder. His dad was diagnosed with the latter and his mom is bipolar, so he's likely predisposed to mental illness.

Prison nephew - he's clever and manipulative, wouldn't trust him as far as I can see him, wouldn't think twice about stealing your identity and running up $50,000 in debt, and wouldn't apologize when caught.

The other nephew - my worries are much, much darker than that. Sadly, there's a lot of denial going on in his family, but those of us with a little more objectivity try to keep an eye on him.

 

[caseydog]

The stigma towards mental illness, and taking meds, is less than it once was, but not gone. I take meds, one daily, and one as needed. I have no issues telling people. I even joke about it, such as, "Don't annoy me today, I forgot to take my meds."
A good friend bought me a t-shirt once that said, "I can't go to work today. The voices are telling me to stay home and clean the guns." It made me laugh -- I didn't wear it in public.

I am lucky, the meds work great. I remember when I first started taking them, within a week, I went to my follow-up appointment, and asked the doctor, "So, is this how normal people feel?"

Don't forget, "Laughter is the Best Medicine." My sense of humor has gotten me through a lot. Anyone who is hurting, find some time to laugh, and something to laugh about -- even if it is yourself.

Doctor CD

CD

 

[rascal]

The stigma towards mental illness, and taking meds, is less than it once was, but not gone. I take meds, one daily, and one as needed. I have no issues telling people. I even joke about it, such as, "Don't annoy me today, I forgot to take my meds."
A good friend bought me a t-shirt once that said, "I can't go to work today. The voices are telling me to stay home and clean the guns." It made me laugh -- I didn't wear it in public.

I am lucky, the meds work great. I remember when I first started taking them, within a week, I went to my follow-up appointment, and asked the doctor, "So, is this how normal people feel?"

Don't forget, "Laughter is the Best Medicine." My sense of humor has gotten me through a lot. Anyone who is hurting, find some time to laugh, and something to laugh about -- even if it is yourself.

Doctor CD

CD

I've always known hooter aka marijuana effects the brain if taken too soon in growing up. I offered my kids from memory?? 30 odd years ago, $10,000 if they didn't do drugs until at least 21. They both did it and never asked for the money. My sons friends (about 20 close from high school) some of them do cocaine. My son told me he tried it. Once. He's 40 and old enough to look after himself.

I had a big op in 06, I should be dead but after a second op,I got depression. Serotones in my brain were not working. No one in my family had had depression, saw my doc and 6 weeks on amitriptylene sp? And I am back to normal. I have diazepam if I'm having a down day if needed. Havnt had one in 7 or 8 years, havnt needed them.
Like caseydog says I find humour a huge help. I'm pretty mischievous when out and about. I talk freely about it because I know I got off light. Keep smiling folks, a lot aren't!

Russ

 

[ElizabethB]

I am cooking a little less, not due to motivation loss or similar issues. But mainly due the mental health problems of my oldest stepson, which have escalated this year and caused a lot of problems in lockdown or similar situations.

Spoiler: Psych evaluation results etc

Currently the next period that he will stay here for 3 weeks is coming in august, and we're not looking forward to it. The test results from the psychiatrist are indicating that he is highly intelligent, yet completely antisocial. Currently they're testing to see if he is in the dark tryad (which means whether he has psychopathy, sociopathy or narcissism/antisocial personality disorder) and so far the markers are indicating that he is. That explains a lot about our difficulties, as he as ASD and also OCD on top of that, but he would go to a clinic in september but they've canceled because he's 'too complicated'. We're really getting desperate.

So that leaves us exhausted and me in need of sleeping meds due to the triggers for my PTSD and general high stress level. This stress causes me to be unable to cook sometimes.

I'm sorry for what you're going through, but I'm glad you shared because I'm realizing a big part of my reason for cooking less. My daughter also has severe problems, and they're dragging the family down with them. It sounds like your situation is similar to mine. We've had to add a lock to our bedroom door because we've begun to realize she's been stealing things to feed a massive drug habit. My son also asked or a lock to be added to his door because he doesn't trust her when he goes to bed at night. We've been dealing with this for so long that it's become a part of our everyday lives, which is why I didn't think of it as a factor! But, it clearly is. If nothing else, know that you're not alone in what you're experiencing.

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you. I warms my heart that you have this community to share with. Know that you are loved and emotionally supported.
Windigo Based on some of your previous posts I am concerned about your well being. Your Stepson is very ill and a threat to you and your husband. I am deeply concerned for you both. I pray for you.
The Late Night Gourmet
My heart hurts for you and your family. Any addiction is bad - drugs are a killer. Drugs will kill the addict and kill the family. Prayers for you and yous.
I am glad that both of you have the courage to share you dark family secrets. Silence is the enemy of sanity and recovery. Windigo I know you are doing all you can with care and treatment. The Late Night Gourmet have you and your family held an intervention with your daughter? Please, please, please do not be enablers.
Been there - done that.
🙏🙏🙏

 

[epicuric]

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you. I warms my heart that you have this community to share with. Know that you are loved and emotionally supported.
Windigo Based on some of your previous posts I am concerned about your well being. Your Stepson is very ill and a threat to you and your husband. I am deeply concerned for you both. I pray for you.
The Late Night Gourmet
My heart hurts for you and your family. Any addiction is bad - drugs are a killer. Drugs will kill the addict and kill the family. Prayers for you and yous.
I am glad that both of you have the courage to share you dark family secrets. Silence is the enemy of sanity and recovery. Windigo I know you are doing all you can with care and treatment. The Late Night Gourmet have you and your family held an intervention with your daughter? Please, please, please do not be enablers.
Been there - done that.
🙏🙏🙏

Lovely post ElizabethB. You so eloquently express the sentiments some of feel but find it difficult to put into words.

 

[Windigo]

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you. I warms my heart that you have this community to share with. Know that you are loved and emotionally supported.
Windigo Based on some of your previous posts I am concerned about your well being. Your Stepson is very ill and a threat to you and your husband. I am deeply concerned for you both. I pray for you.
🙏🙏🙏

We are aware of that, and if no help comes we've decided to not allow him acces to our home anymore if the results prove he is truly a dangerous person. (ie, someone on the dark tryad scale)

We just really, really hope help comes before it comes to that. But we're prepared, we don't want to let him rule the roost with his erratic behaviour much longer. He IS dangerous.
It's a very sad situation to be in all around, even if he is responsible for all his choices thus far. I had hoped we'd never have to go this far, but the system is failing us and him. I'll contact the media if nothing happens as a last effort to get help. I've spent two years continously battling to get him help, but because he's too 'complicated' nobody wants to take him in. But it's not like we're equipped to deal with someone even serious mental health institutions deem too complicated.

 

[JohnJst]

That is crazy, hope everything is fine with you ! The situation is unplesable.. but you'll get through this.

 

[pocofan]

Going out to eat on Fridays was something we did. Hit some of the local places, not the chains. Now we cook on Fridays as well.