Baking Disasters

That's me and cakes in a nutshell. It's either overmixed or undermixed or the butter was too hard or the butter was too soft or the eggs were beaten in at too-long intervals or the eggs were beaten in at too-short intervals or the oven was too hot or the oven was not hot enough or I baked it too long or I didn't bake it long enough or I cooled it too long or I didn't cool it long enough or I was favoring my left leg during mixing or I was favoring my right leg during mixing or...

Seriously I've invested more time, effort, and money in figuring out how I can so gloriously <bleep> up cake after cake after cake over the years. It's never taken me this long to figure out anything else.

I really wish there were a way to select more than one "like" icon...this one deserved all of them, but of course I picked the laughing one.
 
I really wish there were a way to select more than one "like" icon...this one deserved all of them, but of course I picked the laughing one.
I've nearly made my peace with it, but I do get irritated that I can't do something that isn't that difficult and that others do with relative ease. I'm stubborn that way. :laugh:
 
I've nearly made my peace with it, but I do get irritated that I can't do something that isn't that difficult and that others do with relative ease. I'm stubborn that way. :laugh:

My ex-wife was an excellent baker, and just watching her, I knew I didn't have the temperament for baking. I do bake cookies and cornbread from time-to-time, but that's it.

CD
 
That's me and cakes in a nutshell. It's either overmixed or undermixed or the butter was too hard or the butter was too soft or the eggs were beaten in at too-long intervals or the eggs were beaten in at too-short intervals or the oven was too hot or the oven was not hot enough or I baked it too long or I didn't bake it long enough or I cooled it too long or I didn't cool it long enough or I was favoring my left leg during mixing or I was favoring my right leg during mixing or...

Seriously I've invested more time, effort, and money in figuring out how I can so gloriously <bleep> up cake after cake after cake over the years. It's never taken me this long to figure out anything else.
Oh this made me laugh😂
I went to take off my make up,was still laughing..😂
I saw some amazing bake posts of yours...

It really is relieving to read about flops. Thank you all for sharing.

Several days ago I wanted to experiment with a cross of bread pudding and powdered pudding mix.

Nothing happened. The mix is supposed to be stirred in hot milk.

The bread was sitting sad and soaked in a brown liquid, liquid was still liquid after 45 or more minutes baking.🙈😂

Discarded.
 
Sometimes, the baking spirits just aren't with you. I generally do ok with breads, but today's are just sorry deflated sad-looking loaves. 🤷🏻‍♂️
 
Sometimes, the baking spirits just aren't with you. I generally do ok with breads, but today's are just sorry deflated sad-looking loaves. 🤷🏻‍♂️
Yeah, but it will get much better next time!
You are such a good baker!🌾🌾
I still remember your pretzel buns...👍👍
Am trying to think of what to prep for next week.
Some portable bready thingies would be good.
Am taking my Dad to an oncologist check tomorrow, so thingies will have to last and not go bad from 10 am to 3 pm in my tin ...
 
The baking spirits still aren't with me.
 
What I was aiming for:

View attachment 53515



What I "achieved:"

View attachment 53516



It rose better than I expected, and the texture is ok, but (and this kills me every time), when the video that goes with this recipe got to the decorative cut-twist-tuck bit, they actually sped the damn thing up double speed, so it was impossible to tell what exactly was going on. So I did my best.


Tastes better than I expected, not as dense as I thought, but...you know how Frankenstein looks like a human (head, torso, extremities), but he's really a mess? That's what this is, my little Frankenstein pastry.View attachment 53522
I'd eat that!
 
I made my first-ever Swiss roll today. You can guess how it went if I’m posting it in the disasters topic (and given my previous tussles with cakes).

MrsT wanted a Swiss roll, but she doesn’t like that all the ones here are covered in frosting/ganache - just plain cake for her.

I checked a few places, then decided I’d just make it myself. It was very simple to throw together, and the cake came out ok initially, but it cracked something awful on the initial rolling.

Here’s the funny thing: I checked 10 websites on cracked Swiss rolls, and exactly five said the cake had to be rolled right out of the oven to prevent cracking, and exactly five said the cake had to be cooled completely before rolling to prevent cracking. 🤷‍♂️ 😆

Anyway, since it’s just cake and whipped cream, I wasn’t too bothered by it, and if I were to make this into a proper Yule log cake, the ganache would cover all my mistakes, so I’m not discouraged.

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If you ever need a turd cake, I’m your guy. :laugh:

We’re eating the ends tonight - I’ll dust it in powdered sugar after that and post a new pic tomorrow. Either way, MrsT was thrilled with it. That’s all that really matters.
 
I made my first-ever Swiss roll today. You can guess how it went if I’m posting it in the disasters topic (and given my previous tussles with cakes).

MrsT wanted a Swiss roll, but she doesn’t like that all the ones here are covered in frosting/ganache - just plain cake for her.

I checked a few places, then decided I’d just make it myself. It was very simple to throw together, and the cake came out ok initially, but it cracked something awful on the initial rolling.

Here’s the funny thing: I checked 10 websites on cracked Swiss rolls, and exactly five said the cake had to be rolled right out of the oven to prevent cracking, and exactly five said the cake had to be cooled completely before rolling to prevent cracking. 🤷‍♂️ 😆

Anyway, since it’s just cake and whipped cream, I wasn’t too bothered by it, and if I were to make this into a proper Yule log cake, the ganache would cover all my mistakes, so I’m not discouraged.

View attachment 108106View attachment 108107View attachment 108108

If you ever need a turd cake, I’m your guy. :laugh:

We’re eating the ends tonight - I’ll dust it in powdered sugar after that and post a new pic tomorrow. Either way, MrsT was thrilled with it. That’s all that really matters.

It's a "rustic" Swiss Roll. :okay:

CD
 
I made my first-ever Swiss roll today. You can guess how it went if I’m posting it in the disasters topic (and given my previous tussles with cakes).

MrsT wanted a Swiss roll, but she doesn’t like that all the ones here are covered in frosting/ganache - just plain cake for her.

I checked a few places, then decided I’d just make it myself. It was very simple to throw together, and the cake came out ok initially, but it cracked something awful on the initial rolling.

Here’s the funny thing: I checked 10 websites on cracked Swiss rolls, and exactly five said the cake had to be rolled right out of the oven to prevent cracking, and exactly five said the cake had to be cooled completely before rolling to prevent cracking. 🤷‍♂️ 😆

Anyway, since it’s just cake and whipped cream, I wasn’t too bothered by it, and if I were to make this into a proper Yule log cake, the ganache would cover all my mistakes, so I’m not discouraged.

View attachment 108106View attachment 108107View attachment 108108

If you ever need a turd cake, I’m your guy. :laugh:

We’re eating the ends tonight - I’ll dust it in powdered sugar after that and post a new pic tomorrow. Either way, MrsT was thrilled with it. That’s all that really matters.
Swiss roll here sometimes has a layer of raspberries jam/jelly.

Russ
 
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