TastyReuben I don’t think you’re uptight, you just sound like a worrier.
My bezzie is a worrier and two of my close friends are also worriers, they tell me their anxieties (usually so I can reframe them and make them feel better) and this has given me an insight into how difficult these things really are for them.
I think for them it’s born out of sensitivity, they are very perceptive people and sensitive to others emotions so they can easily see if somethings not liked or just that the OP seems unhappy for whatever reason.
Then another component of their personality kicks in and screws them over - they are kind and want to help.
They want the other person to feel alright and if they don’t they feel it is their fault for not anticipating their needs, that somehow they have failed to provide that person with a good time.
When I was younger I used to be a little bit that way inclined myself. But you’re not a bucket for other peoples emotions or responsible for them.
So for the family get together where some members haven’t been in the same room for 8 years I have tried to anticipate some of the things that will cause grief. The seating must be comfortable and roomy or my Dad will moan continually about “short people” arranging things with only short people in mind. Both of my parents may kick off if the food served is not familiar or liked so I chose things that should go down well. I will move motorbikes down to the yard (out of sight) so my brothers don’t get the green eye monster. I have bought a high chair, new cot mattress and will get flowers for my SIL so she knows she is welcome and her baby has been considered. I’ll play music I know is enjoyed by everyone and ensure the service is as smooth and accommodating as possible.
But I still wouldn’t be surprised if it all falls apart and if it does I won’t feel bad. It won’t be my doing and I will know I’ve done my bit by providing the effort and energy for best chances of success.
I suppose what I’m driving at is you care and that is in itself a very nice thing to have in a friend. Beating yourself up that you give a sh*t if others have a nice time is fruitless but it comes from a kind place. You really shouldn’t ever expect perfection from yourself, just relish that you made a good effort.
You’re possibly better off simply congratulating yourself for the stuff you did well rather than focusing on the parts where you think you could do better.
The bad parts are just more info for how you’re gonna totally nail it next time and if you don’t so what, the sky won’t fall in.
ps when everything settles down here and the American Odyssey planning is back on, the visit to Ohio and meeting up with you (
TastyReuben), will certainly be eating out, I’ll suggest some places and pick where, we’ll make sure it’s when you’re on a day off. Mr SSOAP and I already know you’re a good guy so there you go you’ll have responsibility or worries… but oh my what to wear
I think I probably am, as Pete is constantly trying to help everyone and be cheerful, but I just took a personality quiz, and it said I was more Jay than Pete. 
