Plans for today (2023)

TastyReuben said:
…and it didn’t even last 20 minutes. 😬

The place is huge, and they have displays broken down by early flight-WW1, WW2, Korean-Vietnam, a missile display, experimental planes, space stuff, etc - dozens of aircraft in each room, a movie theater, flight simulators you can ride, and even more stuff outside.

They came in the entrance, and there’s a little sort of gauntlet, so to speak, of some photos of planes, some uniforms, that kind of stuff, just to give you a taste of what’s to come. It takes 30 seconds to wheel through it. It’s just an entryway that opens onto the first big hangar filled with stuff.

We didn't make it through that first entryway before Dad said, “I believe I’ve seen enough, let’s go home!” :laugh:

We didn’t even stop in the entryway to look at anything, we were just rolling through, and that was that - 20 minutes? We didn’t make it 20 seconds!

Lee was having none of that, so we wheeled through a little bit, and the whole time, Dad was on repeat:

“You cold, Jean? You want my blanket?” - to my mom.
<10 seconds>
“What time is it? We got to get back before four o’clock.”
<10 seconds>
“I didn’t think we’d ever get here.”
<10 seconds>
“You cold, Jean?”

Over and over again, with hardly a pause. Lee would try and break the cycle by pointing out some aircraft or another, and Dad would say, “Yeah, that sure is somethin’…You want my blanket, Jean? Are you cold?”

Mom has a hard time dealing with that, there’s a part of her that thinks he should just be able to stop, or if she’s persistent enough with her answers, he’ll suddenly snap out of it, so she was getting angrier and angrier with her responses as we went along.

After about 15 minutes, we left, and Dad was agreeable to having lunch together, so we went to a nearby place.

That was more of the same. We got to a table, they brought menus, and then it started:

“Do you think they have biscuits and gravy?”
“Yeah, Dad, it’s right there.”
“That’s what I’ll have, then. What’re you havin’, Jean?”
“I missed my bacon this morning, so I’m havin’ a good ol’ BLT.”
“A BLT…that’s what I’m havin’.”
“No, you’re havin’ biscuits and gravy!”
“I am?”
<10 seconds>
“Do they have biscuits and gravy here?”

…that went on nonstop for another 20 minutes, and at one point, my mom got so frustrated, she smacked him on his arm and reminded him sharply for the 30th time he was having biscuits and gravy, and he looked so wounded and got big tears in his eyes.

At that point, we hadn’t been waited on, so we just got up and left (they were short-staffed), because he started in on asking over and over what time it was and he had to get back to the care home before 4PM.

That’s where we said our goodbyes. Lee looked so devastated. We got them both in their car (a Buick, naturally :wink: ), and he gave me a hug and thanked me for coming, and he said, “I just wanted Pap (Dad) to have a good day.“ - he looked so sad about the whole thing.

So that’s why I ate lunch on my own, which I’ll get posted up later, nothing special.

My plans for the rest of the day are to stop at a little mom-and-pop grocery near where I am now. I’m not in this area much, so I don’t want to miss that.
Click to expand...

Sorry Lee had to go through that "leaning experience," but all of us with parents that old have to go through that.

CD
 
caseydog said:
Sorry Lee had to go through that "leaning experience," but all of us with parents that old have to go through that.

CD
Click to expand...
The thing is, with me, I have an easier time accepting it than he does. He’s been their day-in-day-out caregiver for the last three years or so, so he’s had more exposure to it than the rest of us combined, but there’s this little part of him that can’t really accept it, I think, and he keeps holding on to this fantasy that “tomorrow will be better,” when that’s just not realistic.

To his credit, though, he never gets upset or angry like my mom does. Mom can’t handle it for more than a few minutes before she snaps.

As to my plans about that grocery store…it’s also closed for good! I’m losing grocery stores like crazy.

Waiting on my wife so I can take my car in and drop it off for some minor work, and supper is already sorted (soup from the freezer). I also need to go freezer diving and work out the next few meals. I’m pork and sausage rich right now.
 
TastyReuben said:
“Do you think they have biscuits and gravy?”
Click to expand...

I 💩 you not, after my family left and I stopped and got lunch for myself, I sat down in the booth, and two minutes later, two older gents sat in the booth next to me, the waitress came over, and what did the one fellow say?

"Y'all gotnee biscuits an' gravy?"

As if hearing it 30 times earlier wasn't enough! :facepalm:
 
TastyReuben said:
…and it didn’t even last 20 minutes. 😬

The place is huge, and they have displays broken down by early flight-WW1, WW2, Korean-Vietnam, a missile display, experimental planes, space stuff, etc - dozens of aircraft in each room, a movie theater, flight simulators you can ride, and even more stuff outside.

They came in the entrance, and there’s a little sort of gauntlet, so to speak, of some photos of planes, some uniforms, that kind of stuff, just to give you a taste of what’s to come. It takes 30 seconds to wheel through it. It’s just an entryway that opens onto the first big hangar filled with stuff.

We didn't make it through that first entryway before Dad said, “I believe I’ve seen enough, let’s go home!” :laugh:

We didn’t even stop in the entryway to look at anything, we were just rolling through, and that was that - 20 minutes? We didn’t make it 20 seconds!

Lee was having none of that, so we wheeled through a little bit, and the whole time, Dad was on repeat:

“You cold, Jean? You want my blanket?” - to my mom.
<10 seconds>
“What time is it? We got to get back before four o’clock.”
<10 seconds>
“I didn’t think we’d ever get here.”
<10 seconds>
“You cold, Jean?”

Over and over again, with hardly a pause. Lee would try and break the cycle by pointing out some aircraft or another, and Dad would say, “Yeah, that sure is somethin’…You want my blanket, Jean? Are you cold?”

Mom has a hard time dealing with that, there’s a part of her that thinks he should just be able to stop, or if she’s persistent enough with her answers, he’ll suddenly snap out of it, so she was getting angrier and angrier with her responses as we went along.

After about 15 minutes, we left, and Dad was agreeable to having lunch together, so we went to a nearby place.

That was more of the same. We got to a table, they brought menus, and then it started:

“Do you think they have biscuits and gravy?”
“Yeah, Dad, it’s right there.”
“That’s what I’ll have, then. What’re you havin’, Jean?”
“I missed my bacon this morning, so I’m havin’ a good ol’ BLT.”
“A BLT…that’s what I’m havin’.”
“No, you’re havin’ biscuits and gravy!”
“I am?”
<10 seconds>
“Do they have biscuits and gravy here?”

…that went on nonstop for another 20 minutes, and at one point, my mom got so frustrated, she smacked him on his arm and reminded him sharply for the 30th time he was having biscuits and gravy, and he looked so wounded and got big tears in his eyes.

At that point, we hadn’t been waited on, so we just got up and left (they were short-staffed), because he started in on asking over and over what time it was and he had to get back to the care home before 4PM.

That’s where we said our goodbyes. Lee looked so devastated. We got them both in their car (a Buick, naturally :wink: ), and he gave me a hug and thanked me for coming, and he said, “I just wanted Pap (Dad) to have a good day.“ - he looked so sad about the whole thing.

So that’s why I ate lunch on my own, which I’ll get posted up later, nothing special.

My plans for the rest of the day are to stop at a little mom-and-pop grocery near where I am now. I’m not in this area much, so I don’t want to miss that.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry, that sounds awful for everyone involved. It's such a cruel condition. Sending hugs to you :hug:
 
Today’s plans are minimal. I might go into town for some groceries, though I don’t really need to.

Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays are my better days at work, as Mondays and Wednesdays are pretty much meetings all day, and my brain gets exhausted listening to what sounds like the same meeting, just rehashed over and over again.

Today, I’ve got one repetitive task to do, and some training I wasn’t aware of, that I don’t think I’ll ever be involved with, but I’m scheduled to attend it anyway, so I will.
 
Today, I need to drive out to our bank, about an hour away and on the way back, I'm going to pull off to an area I rarely go to.
I will be searching a stand/truck/trailer with from what I've heard are the best Tamales... I'll find it!
 
TastyReuben said:
At that point, we hadn’t been waited on, so we just got up and left (they were short-staffed), because he started in on asking over and over what time it was and he had to get back to the care home before 4PM.

That’s where we said our goodbyes. Lee looked so devastated. We got them both in their car (a Buick, naturally :wink: ), and he gave me a hug and thanked me for coming, and he said, “I just wanted Pap (Dad) to have a good day.“ - he looked so sad about the whole thing.
Click to expand...

That is so sad. I was obviously much too much for your Dad to cope with. Next weekend (Sat 21st) my partner's eldest sister is going to visit and take him out for lunch with my daughter, Holly (for those who don't know my partner has dementia). It will be just somewhere nearby and they will keep it to a short lunch to see how it goes. If it goes Ok they will order desserts. Due to my wretched leg I won't join them but I'll welcome the break. I don't think my partner would be able to cope with a visit to a museum. He simply wouldn't understand it at all and would want to get back to what he knows.
 
My plans got today include getting the kitchen floor clean, picking raspberries (more accurately seeing if there are any left), picking strawberries, weeding the veg plot (this will probably not happen because it's forecast to be 35°C today), getting a load of washing done, and then attending hubby's office's Christmas do (a picnic to an alpacas farm to feed the alpaca, lamas and donkeys). Given its due to happen at the hottest part of the day 3-5pm and we're forecast thunderstorms this afternoon and evening I'm not sure what will actually happen. If it gets rained off or finished early, I will head into the city to do the weekly shopping (otherwise that's tomorrow).

In the meantime, it's cold (14°C) and cloudy out, so I'm going raspberry hunting now!
 
Morning Glory said:
I don't think my partner would be able to cope with a visit to a museum.
Click to expand...
I tried and tried to explain that to my brother, in a roundabout way (“Do you think the museum is too far?” “Do you think he’ll want to stay out that long?”), but it didn’t land.

The problem is, he’d been talking about it with my dad for a week or more, and Dad was all for it, but the truth is, had you asked him if he wanted to go Florida, he’d have been just as excited, and my brother still has a hard time realizing that Dad’s not in a position to decide that he can do this or that, that others have to be smarter when making those decisions.

My brother is so kind-hearted, though, he just can’t get to the point of accepting that Dad’s traveling around days are done. 15 minutes into town, eating lunch, and 15 minutes back…fine. An hour each way to a massive museum…no way, no how.

The same thing happened last year. There was a musician appearing at an outdoor show, someone my dad really likes, and my brother busted his rump making sure there was disability parking and access, and he and my dad talked about it every day, and my dad was thrilled at the prospect.

First, they got there late because Dad was being stubborn about something, and then they got there, they got parked, Lee got him out of the car, into a wheelchair, all situated, pushed him over gravel and rough ground to the wheelchair area, and three minutes after they got into that area…”I believe I wanna get back home,” - and that was a year ago. He’s worse now.

I think (hope) he’s finally learned. Those days are gone.
 
Morning Glory said:
How was it. I've not been there
Click to expand...
It was brilliant. The moment we got in, the staff were there (including the owner), helpful with everything, participating in the banter (I have to admit, my brother and I are like the two Ronnies - but not so successful), the food was served promptly ( we had the specials, which were very different) - I´d go back there anytime, even if it were only regular pub fare.
 
TastyReuben said:
The problem is, he’d been talking about it with my dad for a week or more, and Dad was all for it, but the truth is, had you asked him if he wanted to go Florida, he’d have been just as excited, and my brother still has a hard time realizing that Dad’s not in a position to decide that he can do this or that, that others have to be smarter when making those decisions.
Click to expand...

That's a main thing you need to get used to with dementia. If I ask my dad if he wants to go out for a roll in the nice weather, he will say "That sounds nice." But, If I roll him outside (he is wheelchair bound), he'll want to go back inside almost immediately.

Lee was really trying to do something nice for his parents. Dementia got in the way.

My dad LOVES sweets/desserts. When I want to do something to brighten his day, I go get him something sweet, and he's happy as can be. You have to find what makes them happy, even if is is the simplest thing, like a slice of good pie.

CD
 
Last edited:
Today, another bland workday, hopefully. I do have one meeting this afternoon that I did to myself - one of my coworkers has never participated in our company’s offer of money granted for completing certain healthy activities, so I volunteered to go over the process with her, since I’ve done it for years and am the most familiar with it.

Colder today, it’s actually lightly snowing right now (more appropriate than the buckets of rain we had yesterday), but I’m going to get some of the outside Christmas decorations put up. We should get our pink Valentine’s Day lights delivered today, so I’ll likely get those on the tree.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom