Socialising

morning glory said:
Ditto. I don't mind socialising about something. Like on this forum discussing food. I just can't deal with idle chit chat.
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When we are with family or friends then I don't regard it as idle chit chat, it is catching up and having a laugh.
 
When I was young I used to be out all the time, at parties, eating out, or just going down the pub, but since I've developed a load of allergies and intolerances, and now that my medication means I am not even allowed to have certain foods because of interactions, I tend to cook and eat at home. The extent of my socialising is going away for a couple of days to my daughters and meeting some of her friends and her husband's family at her house. A lot of people don't seem to understand about real allergies, and I don't want to chance it. Even my daughter has been known to make the odd mistake - she has intolerances to quite a few things, and one of my granddaughters has allergies, all of which of course are different to mine, so meal times can be interesting.

As far as going out is concerned, there are a couple of local groups who hold a breakfast club in one of the pubs in the town centre, and another group who hold pub quizzes in a local Indian restaurants and also have a monthly meet up at a local pub. All are good venues and you can have a good time there, but with these groups it's really just being with a load of complete strangers - you don't make any friends there, and none of the topics of conversation seem to be anything I am remotely interested in. I did invite one of the women who lives nearby round for a coffee, but ended up ejecting her when she hit my dog because he was being his usually friendly self. I don't particularly like going out in the evenings anyway. I live in an area where going out on your own isn't the safest thing to do.
 
Elawin said:
All are good venues and you can have a good time there, but with these groups it's really just being with a load of complete strangers - you don't make any friends there, and none of the topics of conversation seem to be anything I am remotely interested in.
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I know what you mean. I tried going to a few social club events round here but found I had so little in common with everyone else. They probably thought same about me! :laugh: I tend to get on better with men than women (no idea what that says about me :oops:). I simply can't do that girly get together thing. However, I'm thinking I need to be more gregarious. I could end up a lonely old woman... :ohmy:
 
In real life I'm a really shy person that shuns social contact, and lives a very private life.

Nah, just kidding. The only reason I haven't hung out with you yet is we live too far apart, and my wife makes me wear a big leash.
 
When I was growing up I had a lot of problems with my ear resulting in very poor hearing which made it difficult to be around people because not being able to hear properly made me feel isolated. Just over 10 years ago a wonderful ENT surgeon performed a miracle on my ear and my hearing is now much improved, not perfect, never will be but so much better which has given me a new lease of life so I am living it :thumbsup:
 
morning glory said:
I know what you mean. I tried going to a few social club events round here but found I had so little in common with everyone else. They probably thought same about me! :laugh: I tend to get on better with men than women (no idea what that says about me :oops:). I simply can't do that girly get together thing. However, I'm thinking I need to be more gregarious. I could end up a lonely old woman... :ohmy:
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I get on far better with men too. Most of the jobs I have had have been/were at the time very male-orientated - building and civil engineering, shipping, textiles, model-making and model shops - and often I was the only female working in the place - and, no. I wasn't the tea lady :laugh: Girly get-togethers are not my idea of fun either. I prefer working in an office on my own rather than with a load of women, but the last hospital I worked at I had no choice. The girls in the first office weren't too bad - one had family in the pop-scene, one wrote children's stories in her spare time, one was OK when she was talking about her daughter's dog, one was a cat-lover, and another was Lebanese and we used to talk about cooking! We had a rather elderly clerk there too, so we used to talk a lot about the good old days. They weren't a bad bunch, but after I was off sick for a long time I was put in an office with a load of youngsters (30 somethings). Absolute nightmare - I didn't like them and they didn't like me. Luckily the office was L-shaped; they were all down one end of the L, and I was at the other near the office microwave and fridge. One in particular used to cook fish once or twice a week :sick: and when I asked her if she could at least tell me so I could go out of the office for a while, she used to tell me if I didn't like it I should leave. Of course there were no windows or air-con in that office, so the smell used to hang around for the rest of the day and by the end of the day I used to feel quite ill.
 
Lullabelle said:
When I was growing up I had a lot of problems with my ear resulting in very poor hearing which made it difficult to be around people because not being able to hear properly made me feel isolated. Just over 10 years ago a wonderful ENT surgeon performed a miracle on my ear and my hearing is now much improved, not perfect, never will be but so much better which has given me a new lease of life so I am living it :thumbsup:
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One of my best friends when I was growing up was deaf. I got really good at imitating his speech so that people often thought we were both deaf. He knew when I was imitating him by the way my mouth moved, and how our friends would laugh, but he was a great sport about it explaining that it doesn't bother him since he can't hear me doing it. In fact, he'd get me to act deaf with him so I could overhear what other people would say when they thought we couldn't hear. That got us into some pretty funny situations.

But God is getting me back for being a wise guy. I've got terrible tinnitus in my old age from so many years of listening to loud music, and staring at the sun.
 
Elawin said:
I get on far better with men too. Most of the jobs I have had have been/were at the time very male-orientated - building and civil engineering, shipping, textiles, model-making and model shops - and often I was the only female working in the place - and, no. I wasn't the tea lady :laugh: Girly get-togethers are not my idea of fun either. I prefer working in an office on my own rather than with a load of women, but the last hospital I worked at I had no choice. The girls in the first office weren't too bad - one had family in the pop-scene, one wrote children's stories in her spare time, one was OK when she was talking about her daughter's dog, one was a cat-lover, and another was Lebanese and we used to talk about cooking! We had a rather elderly clerk there too, so we used to talk a lot about the good old days. They weren't a bad bunch, but after I was off sick for a long time I was put in an office with a load of youngsters (30 somethings). Absolute nightmare - I didn't like them and they didn't like me. Luckily the office was L-shaped; they were all down one end of the L, and I was at the other near the office microwave and fridge. One in particular used to cook fish once or twice a week :sick: and when I asked her if she could at least tell me so I could go out of the office for a while, she used to tell me if I didn't like it I should leave. Of course there were no windows or air-con in that office, so the smell used to hang around for the rest of the day and by the end of the day I used to feel quite ill.
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In the office I work in, 10 guys 4 females, the women have kids, I don't, they watch soaps again I don't, I am interested in science documentaries, comedy shows etc they are not so sometimes I feel a little left out on conversation.
 
Don't mock me but I imitate deaf people with sign language, I pretend I'm signing regularly with friends. I guess I'm odd. Lol.

Russ
 
@rascal I'm hard of hearing and would love to learn sign language. Unfortunately our local council have stopped the free or cheap courses for the deaf and the only course they do costs £600+ with concessions only for students and people on benefits, not for the over 60s or deaf people. I do know the odd few signs, and I can remember most of the alphabet (one of our teachers taught us how to sign the alphabet when we were 6!), otherwise it's subtitles when watching the box or using my loop system/headphones. If I wear headphones, no one else can listen to the programme. The loop system has an option where there is a microphone that you place in front of the speakers and can listen while everyone else does, but it does pick up all the background noise too. I have to use headphones to listen to [especially classical] music because I can't pick up on the range of notes.

What really bugs me is that when I wear the headphones from the loop system, a lot of people (even people who know me) make comments and ask me what on earth am I using them for? I met one person while I was taking the dog for a walk and didn't have my hearing aids in, and he grabbed me by the arm and asked why I was ignoring him. I can't lip read either, and could barely understand him. I told him I couldn't hear him, and he thought I was having a laugh at his expense. I don't bother to speak to him any more, unless for some urgent or important reason I have to.

The younger women I worked with couldn't understand either. I was an audio-secretary and could hear the tapes perfectly well through the headphones I had, but of course the headphones were different to the standard ones they had and they couldn't understand why they were not allowed to have them too. And they often used to take the p*** out of me.

@Lullabelle I prefer art and history documentaries, cookery programmes, and programmes about trains or model-making or dogs. I do listen to a few soaps, although not usually the mainstream ones. I do not like most comedy shows because they are mostly completely different to my sense of humour. I absolutely hate slapstick or crude comedy, preferring more subtle or sarky humour. I have some hobbies which most people refer to as "sad", and I love gory horror films and books - the sort about things that could really happen. Most of my television viewing went down like a ton of bricks at the office. As for the books, I often used to wonder whether these youngsters could even read. Or am I just a weirdo?
 
Elawin said:
@rascal I'm hard of hearing and would love to learn sign language. Unfortunately our local council have stopped the free or cheap courses for the deaf and the only course they do costs £600+ with concessions only for students and people on benefits, not for the over 60s or deaf people. I do know the odd few signs, and I can remember most of the alphabet (one of our teachers taught us how to sign the alphabet when we were 6!), otherwise it's subtitles when watching the box or using my loop system/headphones. If I wear headphones, no one else can listen to the programme. The loop system has an option where there is a microphone that you place in front of the speakers and can listen while everyone else does, but it does pick up all the background noise too. I have to use headphones to listen to [especially classical] music because I can't pick up on the range of notes.

What really bugs me is that when I wear the headphones from the loop system, a lot of people (even people who know me) make comments and ask me what on earth am I using them for? I met one person while I was taking the dog for a walk and didn't have my hearing aids in, and he grabbed me by the arm and asked why I was ignoring him. I can't lip read either, and could barely understand him. I told him I couldn't hear him, and he thought I was having a laugh at his expense. I don't bother to speak to him any more, unless for some urgent or important reason I have to.

The younger women I worked with couldn't understand either. I was an audio-secretary and could hear the tapes perfectly well through the headphones I had, but of course the headphones were different to the standard ones they had and they couldn't understand why they were not allowed to have them too. And they often used to take the p*** out of me.

@Lullabelle I prefer art and history documentaries, cookery programmes, and programmes about trains or model-making or dogs. I do listen to a few soaps, although not usually the mainstream ones. I do not like most comedy shows because they are mostly completely different to my sense of humour. I absolutely hate slapstick or crude comedy, preferring more subtle or sarky humour. I have some hobbies which most people refer to as "sad", and I love gory horror films and books - the sort about things that could really happen. Most of my television viewing went down like a ton of bricks at the office. As for the books, I often used to wonder whether these youngsters could even read. Or am I just a weirdo?
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You are not a weirdo, you have an interest in the world around you unlike a lot of the youth today who are mostly interested in acquiring 'likes'.
 
My kids grew up with a family near us, they all known each other from age 12 through sports, this family have a deaf boy as a nephew, so all of the family sign. So I've been around it for nearly 25 years, we've had a lot of public announcements where they have a person signing. This is pc gone crazy so I mimic them a lot, just my sense of humour or lack of,lol.

Russ
 
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