We're going on a driving vacation starting tomorrow, gone about 11 days to scout a potential retirement location about a day's drive away.
We chose to rent a car this time, as both our cars are getting a little age on them, and it's nice to put miles on someone else's car for a change. It's always fun to get a different/new car for a few days, but more recently, with all the extra electronic options added to cars, it's getting frustrating trying to figure out how to simply drive the thing.
Keyless entry and start...ok, that's not so new, but it's something I'm not used to, since neither of my cars have that, and I always spend 20 seconds after I first get in the car looking for the ignition slot, and 20 seconds after I park it, looking for the key to turn and pull out of the ignition slot.
Then it's figuring out how to unlock and open fuel cap cover. Sometimes it just opens, sometimes it locks, sometimes there's a release on the floor...or the dash...or the console...or sometimes it's like this one, you just push straight down on it and it softly opens. Glad I asked the rep at the agency, because I would have never figured that out.
Then there's making sure the A/C controls look reasonable, and onto the nav/entertainment system. When I started the car, it was playing...something, and I had to start randomly pressing button and turning knobs before I found the set that controlled the system, as nothing has, you know, words on it to explain what it is, just hieroglyphics that mean next to nothing to me. On top of that, the nav screen is made to look like it has touchscreen controls on it...but it ain't touchscreen, I can attest to that.
On the way home, I wanted to make sure I could get the speed control to work, because I always use that, and we have a full day of interstate/motorway driving tomorrow. Thankfully, cruise control systems are all the same, right? Turn the system on, get to the speed you want, press the set button, press cancel or tap the brake to cancel it, right?
Wrong.
This one has a multi-function switch that can be pushed, or toggled up and down, and it's set inside another switch that can be pressed. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out how in the world to set it. It would come on, then no matter how I toggled, pressed, or twisted the knobbies, the little jerk refused to cooperate, and just made a bleating sheep-like sound to register its mocking disapproval.
Quick check of the glove box revealed, wonder of wonders, the owner's manual, which I think in the hundreds of cars I've rented over the years, might be just the second time I've seen one in a rental. No problem, I'll check that when I get home.
Just started to relax and...oh, let me scooch around this squirrel that's in my lane, no worries, no other cars within miles, nice backroad, and...WHAM-BAM-SHIMMY-LIMMY-DING-DONG!!!...the steering wheel began to violently shake, and the dashboard lit up like a fireworks display. WHAT! THE! F...?!?!
After I finished emptying my bowels and bladder and recovering from my heart attack, I guessed that maybe the car has some of that new CAB (Crash Avoidance Bullsh..) that I've seen in car ads. Turns out I was right. No worries, good ol' owner's manual will sort that out.
Got home, went into the glove box to get the owner's manual, and I found I needed two hands to lug it out and into the house. 636 pages, and no, that's all in English, not padded by including copies in various other languages. Oh well, I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Cruise control...cruise control...here we go, "How To Set The ASCAAS" - one question...what's ASCAAS? Keep reading, Tasty...
"To activate the ASCAAS <I guess that's their proprietary name for 'cruise control'>, ensure the vehicle is moving in a forward-like direction, at least 20mph, and press once the ASCAAS MCS (see page 2-17 for MCS information). Note the ASCAAS activation icon now displays on the MFDU in the lower-right corner and may optionally display on HUDADU, if so equipped (see pages 2-19 through 2-22 for MFDU information, and pages 2-27 through 2-30, 4-117, and 8-44 for HUDADU information)."
Eventually, I figured out the cruise control by going for another drive and angrily smashing all the cruise control buttons on the steering wheel at once, which managed to set the speed, so it's some combination of toggling and pressing that did the trick, because now that seems to work every time.
I did discover that the earthquake-like shaking was indeed due to my temporary crossing of the center lane to save that poor squirrel, and I also discovered how to shut that crap off - so no blind spot warning, driver nodding off warning, lane encroachment warning, braking assist, parking assist, night blindness assist, rear traffic warning, oncoming traffic warning for me. I'm going to have to take my chances by actually, you know,
driving the car. Imagine that.
Next up, I have to work out how to lower the brightness of dashboard lights. There must be a cluster of unlabeled buttons I can smash that does that.
car all day today. Headlights are weird, wipers are completely abnormal (and it rained all day), and it took me about four hours to figure out the climate system, and the nav system is beyond complicated.
