One year I saw that some Americans deep fry their turkey in these big vats of oil with a burner underneath.
I got very excited and purchased a kit with a big vat to fry the turkey.
After nearly bankrupting myself buying enough oil to fill it I set it up on the balcony and armed with all the wildly varying advice the internet had to offer I plunged the turkey into the bubbling cauldron.
Unfortunately I had not picked the right advice and the turkeys internal temperature took an eternity to reach the safe to eat zone by which time the outer turkey was drier than the proverbial - insert Sahara or nun joke here depending on your disposition
Grappling that desiccated monster from the enormous witch’s vat to be greeted by a Christmas vision Stephen King would fail to top still haunts me now