What made you smile recently (2025)?

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It happened at a Chicago airport, and it's absolutely hilarious. I wish I had the nerve of this woman. An award should go to the Midwest Airlines gate agent in Chicago for being witty and sharp, while still making her point when confronted by a passenger who probably deserved to ride in the baggage compartment. For anyone who has ever had to deal with a difficult customer, this one's for you.

A busy Midwest Airlines flight was canceled, and a single agent was left rebooking a long line of frustrated travelers.

Out of nowhere, an irate passenger shoved his way to the desk, slapped his ticket down, and barked, "I NEED to be on this flight, and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS!"

The agent remained calm and replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to assist you, but I need to help these folks first. Once I've taken care of them, I'm sure we'll work something out."

Not satisfied with her response, the man raised his voice so everyone in the terminal could hear. "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?"

Without missing a beat, the agent picked up the microphone for the public address system. "May I have your attention, please?" she announced, her voice echoing through the terminal. "We have a passenger at Gate 22 who DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can assist him in identifying himself, please come to Gate 22 immediately."

The line of passengers erupted in laughter. The man, now red-faced, leaned in and hissed, "F*** you!"

Still unfazed, the agent smiled sweetly and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll need to get in line for that as well."
 
A duck walked into a bar.
"Got any peanuts, mate? "
The barman looked at him and said:
" No, no peanuts. And listen up; we do NOT serve ducks in here. Now get out!!"
Duck walks out, and the following day, he's back. Up to the bar:
"Hey! got any peanuts?"
The barman scowled at him and said:
I told you yesterday. NO ! And we don't serve ducks! Now p*** off, or I'll nail your beak to the bar!!"
Next day, the duck's back.
HEY! Got any nails? "
"Nope, "said the barman.
"Gimme some peanuts, then..."
 
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