What made you smile recently?

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One evening in October When I was about one-third sober And was taking home a load with manly pride
My poor feet began to stutter So I lay down in the gutter And a pig came up and lay down by my side
Then we sang "It's All Fair Weather" And "Good Fellows Get Together" Till a lady passing by was heard to say
She says, "You can tell a man who boozes By the company he chooses" And the pig got up and slowly walked away
Yes, the pig got up and slowly walked away
Slowly walked away, slowly walked away
Yes, the pig got up and he turned and winked at me As he slowly walked away

I also well remember One evening in November When I was creeping home at break of day
For in my exhilaration I engaged in conversation With a cab-horse, right on the corner of Broadway I was filled up to the eyeballs With a flock of gin and highballs
So I whispered to the cab-horse old and grey
I says, "It's these all-night homeward marches That gave us both our fallen arches."
And the old horse laughed and slowly walked away
Yes, the old horse laughed and slowly walked away
Slowly walked away, he slowly walked away
And the old horse laughed and he turned and winked at me
As he slowly walked away As he slowly walked away
 
Except the coffee. It's tea for me.
87702
 
I am a maiden who is forty,
And a maiden I shall stay.
There are some who call me haughty,
But I care not what they say.
I was running the tombola At our church bazaar today,
And doing it with gusto In my usual jolly way
When suddenly, I knew not why,
There came a funny feeling
Of something crawling up my thigh!
I nearly hit the ceiling!
A mouse! I thought.
How foul! How mean!
How exquisitely tickly!
Quite soon I know I'm going to scream.
I've got to catch it quickly.
I made a grab.
I caught the mouse,
Now right inside my knickers.
A mouse my foot!
It was a HAND!
Great Scott! It was the vicar's!
 
Our resident groundhog who lives under the woodpile in the very back of our backyard was out and I tossed him 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich. When he saw me he ran for his hole, but then he smelled or saw the sandwich and when I closed the sliding door, he came back out. I saw him sitting there on his hind legs in the middle of the backyard holding it with his front paws devouring it. A squirrel came within a few feet of him and was doing the squirrely dance around him, probably thinking, "Damn, that's a big-ass squirrel, I am not about to try to take his sandwich" so I threw 1/2 of a peanut butter sandwich to the squirrel, and they sat there together within about 3 feet of each other enjoying their sandwiches, LOL! It was pretty darned cute.

We named the groundhog "Stewie". My MIL told us that when she was very young, they were very poor, and one time her father came home from hunting with a groundhog that he dressed and cleaned. She and her mother made groundhog stew. Hence the name "Stewie" LOL! Every groundhog we have ever seen since she told us that story we call Stewie. "Hey, I saw a new Stewie in the front yard. Better put some cayenne pepper around the front porch." Or, "Hey, I saw a Stewie dead in the road a few blocks away by the park. They sure are dumb animals."
 
JAS_OH1 said:
Our resident groundhog who lives under the woodpile in the very back of our backyard was out and I tossed him 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich. When he saw me he ran for his hole, but then he smelled or saw the sandwich and when I closed the sliding door, he came back out. I saw him sitting there on his hind legs in the middle of the backyard holding it with his front paws devouring it. A squirrel came within a few feet of him and was doing the squirrely dance around him, probably thinking, "Damn, that's a big-ass squirrel, I am not about to try to take his sandwich" so I threw 1/2 of a peanut butter sandwich to the squirrel, and they sat there together within about 3 feet of each other enjoying their sandwiches, LOL! It was pretty darned cute.

We named the groundhog "Stewie". My MIL told us that when she was very young, they were very poor, and one time her father came home from hunting with a groundhog that he dressed and cleaned. She and her mother made groundhog stew. Hence the name "Stewie" LOL! Every groundhog we have ever seen since she told us that story we call Stewie. "Hey, I saw a new Stewie in the front yard. Better put some cayenne pepper around the front porch." Or, "Hey, I saw a Stewie dead in the road a few blocks away by the park. They sure are dumb animals."
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I would love to see a photo of that, just the thought is making me giggle.
 
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