Sharing food, what are your expectations?

SandwichShortOfAPicnic

SandwichShortOfAPicnic

Guru
Joined
24 Mar 2023
Local time
5:25 PM
Messages
5,296
Location
Somerset & Costa Tropical Spain
From a conversation on another thread we have stumbled onto the sharing your food topic.
It’s one that has people all over the spectrum answer wise.
Sharing platters, multiple dish events (Asian food, tapas etc) what’s your take on it?

Some people have no boundaries on it and will help themselves to food on someone else’s plate without asking, some rigidly will not share a morsel, others can’t wait to offer you a bite.

How does it work in your world? Are there different rules for different people and occasions?
 
SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
From a conversation on another thread we have stumbled onto the sharing your food topic.
It’s one that has people all over the spectrum answer wise.
Sharing platters, multiple dish events (Asian food, tapas etc) what’s your take on it?

Some people have no boundaries on it and will help themselves to food on someone else’s plate without asking, some rigidly will not share a morsel, others can’t wait to offer you a bite.

How does it work in your world? Are there different rules for different people and occasions?
Click to expand...
If someone offers me a bite from their plate I probably won't accept (even from my DH) and I think it's extremely rude for people to help themselves to someone else's plate of food. I might agree to split a sandwich I'm making with my hub or something else and on to separate plates it goes.

A dessert to share is an exception because it's agreed upon in advance.

I've seen couples who will drink out of the same glass as their partner and I find that repugnant.
 
Sorry, was out running errands, and still am out, but I am enjoying a little seated break in the overcast, but warm and breezy, pleasant weather.

I remembered a few examples.

When I am starving, we order e.g. a salad and sweet potato fries each ( portions of those fries are small), I do mind when the other person, who shall remain unnamed ( not my boyfriend), snacks on my fries in addition to own fries.

Please do order an extra portion. I will not get terribly upset, as I must choose my battles, which are many, but I do prefer to feed myself, in particular, after a long walk or so. I will speak up though, as it is a family member.

Another example, on the other side of the spectrum, so to say, is offering my boyfriend the remaining 2 of 6 chicken nuggets ( untouched), as I feel too full to finish...he would accept most times, except if he is too full too, then I bring them home.

Or, he offers me some of his ( untouched) fries if I had not ordered fries, and he wants to be a good soul, which he is, bless him. Sometimes I will take 2 or 3, just to accept his kind offer, but would then let him eat those/his up, as we almost never order giant fries, and he is a big, tall man ( and I am a big tall woman😅). And if I did not order fries, I did not feel like fries anyways.
 
In a different context, with friends, out in a restaurant, or at someone's home, of the person who is not a family member, I don't think I would feel comfortable enough to share food, once it is on the person's plate.

Serving out of a large dish at center table is a different matter.

I don't think I have shared food with friends, it is not that level of intimacy between us, as within family. Most likely, even if offered, I would decline. I might offer as well, curtesy reasons, if they did, but not really expecting them to dig in.

In a restaurant, with my boyfriend, even if we want to try the different food we ordered, we would do so with our own forks and knives, or spoons. Mostly it is really like a cook's taste test, a micro quantity...

I would not want him to feed me with his spoon, or I him with my fork, in public. There is a place and time for everything.

We have shared a bottle, or can or glass, yes, but at home, informally...

There are some situations I (we) will not get ourselves into in public.

Can't get a video (joke?) out of my head where I think I saw bride and groom hand stuffing each other's mouth with the wedding cake. To me, that was without dignity at the public wedding reception. But, whatever rocks their boat.😁

Right, gotta run now.😊🤗
 
Craig and I share food all the time, well, me with him mostly because I can't eat all of mine. Last night, he finished up about a third of my dinner. That happens almost every time we have a Tovala meal because there are no "seconds" waiting on the stove if he's still hungry. I figure we live in the same house so constantly share air, used to cook for each other so there was touching of and breathing on the food, and there was sharing of bodily fluids anyway, so big deal about sharing food if it's offered or taste bites are requested.

I would never steal food off someone's plate, even Craig, without asking if I could have just a bite to taste, and would only do so then with someone close. I usually offer a taste when trying something new to that same person(s).

If someone, even Craig, took food off my plate without asking or being offered, EXCUSE YOU! would be coming out of my mouth in a sarcastic tone and a bit louder than normal conversation.

With something like fries, if I'm not that hungry and know I won't eat but a few, I'll ask Craig if we can share before we order, and then we'll order a large or extra large order for him and I'll get a few. There's no need to waste money or food.
 
Timenspace said:
Can't get a video (joke?) out of my head where I think I saw bride and groom hand stuffing each other's mouth with the wedding cake. To me, that was without dignity at the public wedding reception. But, whatever rocks their boat.😁

Right, gotta run now.😊🤗
Click to expand...

Feeding each other wedding cake is a tradition in America, though some take it a bit too far, like stuffing huge pieces in or smashing cake into the face, which is just gross and disrespectful to your new spouse and guests IMHO. You are  supposed to feed each other small bites.
 
Taking food of someone's plate without asking is a big NO in my book.
But other than that, if we would go out for dinner, everyone would always ask if someone wanted some of their dish just for tasting.
Mum didn't eat much, so we would finish her plate, generally by switching plates around.
These days, at least in Holland, quite often you order your meat of fish and veges and chips are put in the centre of the table for everyone to share (they get filled up when the staff sees them getting empty or when you ask).
I like that as you can take what you want.
Doggy bags are not a thing when eating out
 
I’m happy to offer my food for others if I feel like it and there’s plenty on the plate. I don’t like being asked because in my view if I wanted to share I would have offered.

I eat a lot less than the monkey zoo I live with but everything is always split dead equally into four because eagle eyes are always looking to see if big or little bro got the bigger bit!

So I eat what I want and offer what’s left on the serving dish (that’s acknowledged as my quarter) to everyone else. By this point everyone has a bellyful and there’s no grumbling over who has what.

It’s an absolute no no to take food from someone else’s plate without asking, that’s an act that would cause all out warfare!

I do share what I’m eating with my children, my husband and sometimes my best friend.
I wouldn’t dream of having for example a bag of sweets and not offering them to whoever I’m with and I think it’s ok in those circumstances to say can I have one?
But my main meal, especially if I’m hungry is all mine!

When Mr SSOAP was on a strict diet before he went to do a triathlon or marathon I absolutely hated it. I did not enjoy eating calorific foods in front of him whilst he looked menacingly at whatever the offending item was so I had a hidden stash and used to go to the garage to scoff extra food, usually multiple packets of crisps 😂
 
Sharing…people like MrsT or maybe family, I’m generally ok to share a small bite, just for tasting purposes, if asked politely. If I’m in a generous mood, I might even offer, even to a friend.

What I’m not ok with is me ordering the steak, you ordering the lasagna, and then you wanting to give me half of yours for half of mine. No!

I don’t care what it is, I don’t want half of yours, and I certainly don’t want to give away half of mine…that’s why I ordered it, so I could eat all of it! Duh!

That may also go back to my dislike of buffets - I don’t like having multiple things to sample, generally; I want one meal and that’s my meal.

French fries/chips and potato chips/crisps are a separate category. If you value your fingers, do not touch. Don’t do it. You’ll be sorry. And yes, that goes for MrsT, for my mom, for Santa Claus, Jesus, and even a starving baby puppy. Don’t. Touch. MY FRIES!!! DON’T!!!
 
SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
eagle eyes are always looking to see if big or little bro got the bigger bit!
Click to expand...
That’s MrsT to a tee, she always feels she’s being cheated. If we go out for fast food or fine dining, it doesn’t matter, it’ll come up at least once, and usually more:

“We both ordered medium fries, but you got more. They always give a man more.”

It goes the other way, too:

“Your burger has less ketchup on it than mine. I don’t like this much ketchup.” - off with the bun, they look exactly the same.

I’ve taken to actually weighing out plates at home, because I got tired of the constant Food Inspector routine because one plate has 31 fries on it and the other has 33. Now, if it’s something “important,” I weigh it, so if get any pushback, I can tell her to go weigh it and see for herself.
 
I don't mind sharing what's on my plate as long as I get asked first. Anyone tries to steal food from my plate and my first reaction is to whack them with the knife... it's totally lacking in manners and education, not to mention gluttony.
When we go out to eat, it'll often be Indian, or Chinese, or Thai, or Spanish, or Italian, and ALL those cuisines are designed for sharing. We try to ensure everyone orders something different, so we can try as many dishes as possible.
Burgers, Fish & chips, baked pastas, bangers & mash, Sunday Lunch, etc. don't count. If I've ordered a plate like that, I'm not sharing with anyone, because it's not like you're going to try something new and exciting, is it?
 
Here’s a sharing story:

When my brother and his wife lived here, we’d meet them occasionally for drinks and appetizers, and…well, she’s a bully in most situations, so once we sat, she’d say something like, “I think it would be a grand idea to all order a different appetizer each and then we can share!” - and that was that.

I don’t like that, because I always get cheated, because someone will always order at least one thing I want nothing of, like popcorn shrimp or deep-fried mushrooms.

Anyway, she’s always been the type to portray herself as some sort of royalty among the plebes, so whatever was the strangest/most adventurous thing on the menu, that’s what she’d order:

“Oh, look, octopus fritters with a dipping sauce made from the anal gland squeezings of wombats… I simply adore that! What?! You’ve never had it?! Oh you must try it! We ate this all the time when I was a child and my family would go on Peace Corps trips to Outer Crazlandia! Oh, you’re getting pretzel bites with beer cheese, Tasty? I’m sure that’s good, too <visible eyeroll>.”

Then she’d order something like that take one bite, and then eat all of everyone else’s stuff - “Everyone, try the fritters! They’re to die for! I can eat only one, they’re so rich!” - said while eating the last of my pretzel bites.

After that, nope. I had to be the a-hole and say that I wasn’t interested in sharing, if you want what I’m having, order your own, because I’m eating it all!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom