Sharing food, what are your expectations?

[TastyReuben]

Another sharing/eating from plates story:

This was years and years ago, not long after we’d moved here. MrsT’s office was having an after-work wedding congratulations dinner for one of the employees. Some appetizers were catered in and paid for, but meals and drinks were at our cost. This was at an upscale Italian-American place.

There were maybe 40 of us, all around a long table, medieval-banquet-hall-style, lots of chatter and laughing and visiting.

Meals came, we all started digging in, and in short order, I heard a woman from a few people down say, “Wow! That looks delicious! Can I try that?”

Now, you’re thinking I overheard two people sitting next to each other, right? Nope. She’d gotten up once the meals were delivered, grabbed an empty plate, and went to each person, asking to try their food. Most people were so shocked, they complied. She went around the entire table and filled more than one plate of samples of many people’s dishes.

But wait, there’s more.

End of the evening, folks were lingering over drinks, and the wait staff collected all the empty plates in stacks at either end of the table. Miss Sampler went to each stack and went through the plates, picking things off with her fingers and eating it right there, saying things like, “Oh my god, I can’t let them throw this away, it’s so good, and it’s wasteful!” - she was even picking off food stuck to the undersides of the plates; she’d flip a plate to look for more food!

It made me almost physically ill. I told MrsT that I’d never go to any food event her work had if that woman was going to be there.

 

[JAS_OH1]

Here’s a sharing story:

When my brother and his wife lived here, we’d meet them occasionally for drinks and appetizers, and…well, she’s a bully in most situations, so once we sat, she’d say something like, “I think it would be a grand idea to all order a different appetizer each and then we can share!” - and that was that.

I don’t like that, because I always get cheated, because someone will always order at least one thing I want nothing of, like popcorn shrimp or deep-fried mushrooms.

Anyway, she’s always been the type to portray herself as some sort of royalty among the plebes, so whatever was the strangest/most adventurous thing on the menu, that’s what she’d order:

“Oh, look, octopus fritters with a dipping sauce made from the anal gland squeezings of wombats… I simply adore that! What?! You’ve never had it?! Oh you must try it! We ate this all the time when I was a child and my family would go on Peace Corps trips to Outer Crazlandia! Oh, you’re getting pretzel bites with beer cheese, Tasty? I’m sure that’s good, too <visible eyeroll>.”

Then she’d order something like that take one bite, and then eat all of everyone else’s stuff - “Everyone, try the fritters! They’re to die for! I can eat only one, they’re so rich!” - said while eating the last of my pretzel bites.

After that, nope. I had to be the a-hole and say that I wasn’t interested in sharing, if you want what I’m having, order your own, because I’m eating it all!

I don't think you were the one being the a-hole. I would make a point to avoid going out to eat with that person if at all possible. I am guessing you are really glad they don't live nearby anymore!

 

[TastyReuben]

I don't think you were the one being the a-hole. I would make a point to avoid going out to eat with that person if at all possible. I am guessing you are really glad they don't live nearby anymore!

I wish he still lived here (and my money says he will be sooner or later! ).

It’s just her personality:

1. Smarter than everyone else
2. Always right
3. Must control everything and everyone
4. Must have last word

I do my best to be civil, but I don’t miss her. We’ve had our run-ins, and significant ones at that.

 

[JAS_OH1]

I wish he still lived here (and my money says he will be sooner or later! ).

It’s just her personality:

1. Smarter than everyone else
2. Always right
3. Must control everything and everyone
4. Must have last word

I do my best to be civil, but I don’t miss her. We’ve had our run-ins, and significant ones at that.

Well, when it comes to the kitchen in my house, you might as well be talking about me

 

[TastyReuben]

Well, when it comes to the kitchen in my house, you might as well be talking about me

The problem is, she’d also be like that in your kitchen, and your living room, and at the car mechanic’s, and the restaurant, and the home improvement store…she’s knows more about anything than anyone!

I like watching when people stand up to her, because when she’s losing or has lost an argument, she extricates herself by saying something like, “Well, you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about, and I refuse to discuss it any further!”

She’s the one my sister assaulted, BTW. She wasn’t able to get out of that argument fast enough.

 

[JAS_OH1]

The problem is, she’d also be like that in your kitchen, and your living room, and at the car mechanic’s, and the restaurant, and the home improvement store…she’s knows more about anything than anyone!

I like watching when people stand up to her, because when she’s losing or has lost an argument, she extricates herself by saying something like, “Well, you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about, and I refuse to discuss it any further!”

She’s the one my sister assaulted, BTW. She wasn’t able to get out of that argument fast enough.

The two in bold can be costly and dangerous, respectively.

Did your sister actually physically assault her? Pray do provide the link with those details, as I am sure you posted it somewhere and I've forgotten.

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

The problem is, she’d also be like that in your kitchen, and your living room, and at the car mechanic’s, and the restaurant, and the home improvement store…she’s knows more about anything than anyone!

I like watching when people stand up to her, because when she’s losing or has lost an argument, she extricates herself by saying something like, “Well, you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about, and I refuse to discuss it any further!”

She’s the one my sister assaulted, BTW. She wasn’t able to get out of that argument fast enough.

I’d like to assault her and I’ve not met her

 

[TastyReuben]

The two in bold can be costly and dangerous, respectively.

I should have added

5. If anything goes wrong as a direct result of her actions, it is never her fault, but theirs

Did your sister actually physically assault her? Pray do provide the link with those details, as I am sure you posted it somewhere and I've forgotten.

I can recap easily enough:

Thanksgiving, and my dad was doing his usual thing of pushing our SIL’s buttons. He likes to see what kind of reaction he can get out of people, especially women.

Well, she started very loudly and very directly chewing my dad out, and in my family at least, elders get respect, even if they’re so wrong is scary, and he was just teasing her anyway, and my sister, who was hosting the meal and losing control of it very quickly and very stressed, came out of the kitchen and saw what was going on and lost it.

She got our SIL around the neck and up against the wall, off her feet like you see in the movies, and was choking her while she gave her a piece of her mind about “comin’ inta my home an’ and talkin’ like that tah my dad an’ jus’ who do you think you are, anyway, blah blah blah…”

My sis has real anger issues, like she blacks out and can’t remember things when she gets really angry, and she was about to start beating her when my dad and my brother had to pull her off and give her a good shake to get her back among the living.

You can bet, after that, my sis was the one person my SIL watched herself around.

Now, back to sharing, I do want to add that drinking from the same glass as my wife, or sampling off the same fork, we’ll do that, like if we order two different beers, we’ll take a sip of each, then she takes the one she wants, and if she wants me to taste something she has, if she’s sitting close enough to me, she’s not above shoving a forkful of it in my mouth. 36 years together…other things we’ve, ahem, shared, it’s not that big a deal for us.

I do know couples who’ll share a toothbrush with their spouse if they have to. I’d probably draw the line at that because I can’t think of any situation I’d ever be in where I wouldn’t be able to just get my own toothbrush - really, like if we crash and wash up on a deserted island and all we could salvage was toothpaste and one brush…I’m not going to be so concerned about brushing my teeth at first. I’ll have other more important things on my mind.

 

[TastyReuben]

I’d like to assault her and I’ve not met her

You want the funniest bit? She’s a retired nurse, and no matter what the situation is, she can work it around to how she knows more about that than anyone else because she’s a nurse:

“Hey! You up there! You’re putting the shingles on the roof wrong! I don’t care if you have been doing this for 14 years, you’re doing it wrong! You’re moving your body all wrong, and that’s causing you to place the shingles incorrectly! I have to know these things! I’m a nurse! I’ve been trained!”

I don’t care what it is, she knows what she knows because nurse training is so complete, it allows her to predict the weather, grow the best tomatoes, know what colors go best together, know who the president of Uruguay was in 1972…

 

[JAS_OH1]

I should have added

5. If anything goes wrong as a direct result of her actions, it is never her fault, but theirs



I can recap easily enough:

Thanksgiving, and my dad was doing his usual thing of pushing our SIL’s buttons. He likes to see what kind of reaction he can get out of people, especially women.

Well, she started very loudly and very directly chewing my dad out, and in my family at least, elders get respect, even if they’re so wrong is scary, and he was just teasing her anyway, and my sister, who was hosting the meal and losing control of it very quickly and very stressed, came out of the kitchen and saw what was going on and lost it.

She got our SIL around the neck and up against the wall, off her feet like you see in the movies, and was choking her while she gave her a piece of her mind about “comin’ inta my home an’ and talkin’ like that tah my dad an’ jus’ who do you think you are, anyway, blah blah blah…”

My sis has real anger issues, like she blacks out and can’t remember things when she gets really angry, and she was about to start beating her when my dad and my brother had to pull her off and give her a good shake to get her back among the living.

You can bet, after that, my sis was the one person my SIL watched herself around.

Now, back to sharing, I do want to add that drinking from the same glass as my wife, or sampling off the same fork, we’ll do that, like if we order two different beers, we’ll take a sip of each, then she takes the one she wants, and if she wants me to taste something she has, if she’s sitting close enough to me, she’s not above shoving a forkful of it in my mouth. 36 years together…other things we’ve, ahem, shared, it’s not that big a deal for us.

I do know couples who’ll share a toothbrush with their spouse if they have to. I’d probably draw the line at that because I can’t think of any situation I’d ever be in where I wouldn’t be able to just get my own toothbrush - really, like if we crash and wash up on a deserted island and all we could salvage was toothpaste and one brush…I’m not going to be so concerned about brushing my teeth at first. I’ll have other more important things on my mind.

Yeah, we have obviously shared germs over the years, but still, it's just something ingrained in my psyche that I find icky.

My DH has no problem with other people's germs...when we used to dogsit his late mother's dog while she went out of town, he would feed the dog from his fork and then continue to eat with the same fork. Big ew. He also smokes like a chimney (not like I can taste the tobacco slime on the rim of my glass but still).

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

Ah well the sharing cutlery thing I don’t like. I know any germs Mr SSOAP has I’ll be sharing for the reasons you outlined above but cutlery no. This is because if I offer him a spoonful of something he doesn’t eat it as he normally would.

It’s a kind of delicate, skim the surface of the spoon action that leaves a small amount of food sitting in the spoon smoothed over by the fact it’s been in his gob and that just grosses me out!

Along with sharing a glass of water. Some people seem to grease up their glass no matter what they’re eating, and don’t get me started on backwash ..

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

You want the funniest bit? She’s a retired nurse, and no matter what the situation is, she can work it around to how she knows more about that than anyone else because she’s a nurse:

“Hey! You up there! You’re putting the shingles on the roof wrong! I don’t care if you have been doing this for 14 years, you’re doing it wrong! You’re moving your body all wrong, and that’s causing you to place the shingles incorrectly! I have to know these things! I’m a nurse! I’ve been trained!”

I don’t care what it is, she knows what she knows because nurse training is so complete, it allows her to predict the weather, grow the best tomatoes, know what colors go best together, know who the president of Uruguay was in 1972…

Now I definitely want to assault her

 

[medtran49]

Now, back to sharing, I do want to add that drinking from the same glass as my wife, or sampling off the same fork, we’ll do that, like if we order two different beers, we’ll take a sip of each, then she takes the one she wants, and if she wants me to taste something she has, if she’s sitting close enough to me, she’s not above shoving a forkful of it in my mouth. 36 years together…other things we’ve, ahem, shared, it’s not that big a deal for us.

I do know couples who’ll share a toothbrush with their spouse if they have to. I’d probably draw the line at that because I can’t think of any situation I’d ever be in where I wouldn’t be able to just get my own toothbrush - really, like if we crash and wash up on a deserted island and all we could salvage was toothpaste and one brush…I’m not going to be so concerned about brushing my teeth at first. I’ll have other more important things on my mind.

That's me and Craig. After this many years, there's very little we haven't shared at some point.

I do draw the line at sharing a toothbrush, though Craig has accidentally used mine on occasion because he forgot what color his was. I just got a new one when mine was wet and wasn't supposed to be. The finger with toothpaste is always an option in a pinch.

Tasty, sounds like you have a berserker for a sister!

 

[karadekoolaid]

“Hey! You up there! You’re putting the shingles on the roof wrong! I don’t care if you have been doing this for 14 years, you’re doing it wrong! You’re moving your body all wrong, and that’s causing you to place the shingles incorrectly!

That happened to my bro ( a professional chef) once or twice in the kitchen. A new General Manager who decided to turn off all the pilot lights of the 8 ovens. They usually cooked for 2-500 people a day, so time was of the essence.
(Bro) "Right, let's get the ovens fired up! I need 40 turkeys in there asap".
2 minutes later, sous chef : "Chef, the ovens won't light - someone turned off the pilots"
(Bro) "WHO THE &&**1`1YU)_P43QTR3^##@@@!!! TURNED OFF THE PILOTS???"
(Enter new General Manager, stage left) "I turned them off, because we need to save gas"
(Bro with a large box of matches). "This is MY kitchen and what happens here is MY business, so before you F*** O** out of my way, grab this box and light the pilots. I'm going outside for a smoke"
1 1/2 hrs later, and half a packet of cigs, the GM, in floods of tears, had managed to light all the pilots. Lunch was late that day.

(PS: I wasn't there, of course, so the story might well be complete fable. Good story anyway!!)

 

[Timenspace]

she always feels she’s being cheated.

That's intriguing. My Dad, who had 2 strokes, also always feels he's cheated, his wife is not home ( who is 80), the taxi driver asked too much, kids busted their flat, stole money, the postal officer stole his pension...

I wonder if the strokes hit a specific ' trust' part of the brain...
I don't know.