The General Chat Thread (2016-2022)

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sidevalve said:
They have no fear of 'punishment' they 'know their rights' [but have no responsibilities] and I suspect their parents whatever they might say are to blame. Our society has reached the stage where discipline is a naughty word and kids 'must be given free expression'. Girls are just as bad as boys [if not more so as they always seem as though they have a point to prove]. There is nothing you can do and as a 'caring' society we have allowed this disease to develop - the signs were there - some of us saw them but I'm afraid a small voice swamped by the tidal wave of political correctness was unheard. I don't suggest beating them to death with a stick but I do feel it's about time punishment became just that for ALL criminals.
Sorry for the rant but this is something I feel quite strongly about.
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Exactly! A good smacking never did us any harm, and probably stopped us getting into much more serious trouble.

MypinchofItaly said:
I absolutely agree with you @sidevalve.
I often see parents who are scared to say "No" or to punish their spoiled and rude kids.
What? Are you an adult or whatelse?
Discipline! First with themselves.
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The parents were on the side of their kids and complained that the police were in the wrong and were victimising them. Unfortunately most of the local residents who have come across the kids (especially the shooter) were cheering that the police had actually done something about them for once. However, she was practising her target practice again yesterday afternoon.:rolleyes:

In a way she reminds me of one of my stepchildren. Her mother had custody of her, but could not cope with her, her two siblings and her newborn half-brother, so she came to live with us. Big mistake! On one occasion when she could not get her own way, she waited until we were all home, then followed me into the kitchen and started screaming and was shouting "stop hitting me, stop hitting me". Her father came into the kitchen and caught her mid-sentence. She was at one end of the kitchen, I was at the other. On other occasions, she threw boiling water at my daughter and raised a stick to me. She bought me a birthday present that year; it was really lovely, and I said so, whereupon she picked it up and smashed it. She used to go missing for days, and the Police would often bring her home from all sorts of places. If you told her off, it was you that was in the wrong. One of her favourite expressions was that she was going to report us to Social Services and the Police. She was 14 too. She also used to carry a knife.....
 
@Elawin
OMG!

When I was a child my Dad was a very mean alcoholic. He took his anger and frustrations out on my mother and his children. He eventually cleaned up his act, got sober and quit hitting. Needless to say I am some what sensitive to issues of corporal punishment.

Having said that I have no issues with time out, losing privileges or access to devices. Nor do I have a problem with putting a child on his/her knees in a corner or a smart smack on the butt.

No hitting, no punching, no face slapping, no belts or switches.

Bottom line: the parents and our very PC culture is more to blame than the children. They do what they learn.

Children learn to threaten their parents with police or social services from TV and in school.

Sick, sick, sick.

My step son is a fine man with a lovely family. When he was a child he was a master at manipulation - his father against his mother. A very sick, distressing situation.

I look back at the turmoil of those years and I am amazed that my step son has grown to be such a fine man.
 
ElizabethB said:
@Elawin
When he was a child he was a master at manipulation - his father against his mother. A very sick, distressing situation.
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Add "and stepmother" and you've got it in one! She rarely used to go to school (even when we had to take her there and get her signed in, she used to run away). She always said she wanted to get a flat when she was 16 and have a baby. She did both. The last time I saw her was when she was 17 (1993) and had moved in with the boy who was the father of her baby. Her father (my ex) had discovered where she lived. We were not welcome.
 
Elawin said:
Exactly! A good smacking never did us any harm, and probably stopped us getting into much more serious trouble.


The parents were on the side of their kids and complained that the police were in the wrong and were victimising them. Unfortunately most of the local residents who have come across the kids (especially the shooter) were cheering that the police had actually done something about them for once. However, she was practising her target practice again yesterday afternoon.:rolleyes:

In a way she reminds me of one of my stepchildren. Her mother had custody of her, but could not cope with her, her two siblings and her newborn half-brother, so she came to live with us. Big mistake! On one occasion when she could not get her own way, she waited until we were all home, then followed me into the kitchen and started screaming and was shouting "stop hitting me, stop hitting me". Her father came into the kitchen and caught her mid-sentence. She was at one end of the kitchen, I was at the other. On other occasions, she threw boiling water at my daughter and raised a stick to me. She bought me a birthday present that year; it was really lovely, and I said so, whereupon she picked it up and smashed it. She used to go missing for days, and the Police would often bring her home from all sorts of places. If you told her off, it was you that was in the wrong. One of her favourite expressions was that she was going to report us to Social Services and the Police. She was 14 too. She also used to carry a knife.....
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What a painful situation, for her and for you and your family. Anger is a bad beast, and too often anger is fought with other anger.
 
@Elawin

My heart hurts for you. Is this your daughter or step daughter? Either way it must be very painful. Family is my salvation. Mother, all of my sibs, their children and grandchildren. We are all individuals that create a family. I could not survive without my family.
 
Elawin said:
Add "and stepmother" and you've got it in one! She rarely used to go to school (even when we had to take her there and get her signed in, she used to run away). She always said she wanted to get a flat when she was 16 and have a baby. She did both. The last time I saw her was when she was 17 (1993) and had moved in with the boy who was the father of her baby. Her father (my ex) had discovered where she lived. We were not welcome.
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So sad to hear this.
This reminds me a cousin tof mine that was so. She left home, alcoholic father and absent mother. Parents have divorced but the situation has deteriorated. The absence of the mother has become heavier. The sister (8 years old) started to drink. Social workers have taken them away and entrusted to two different families. Now this cousin has become an artist, she is a painter. The other is a social worker, irony of fate.
Once the youngest one replied badly to my mom with a dirty word and she did not realize that I was from those parts and I felt it. Well, I did not beat her but I assure you I'm not tender with the rude, any age. Then turn to my mother in that way, it does not exist, the blood went to my brain.
I heard her a few years ago. She still remember the twist that I gave her .. maybe a way to say thank you.
 
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My step son, DIL and nephew all have "dirty mouths". F bombs are part of their vocabulary. I find that kind of language very offensive and have told them so. If F bombs drop in my presence they have 2 options - clean up your language or leave.

I find vulgarity offensive and unnecessary. 0 tolerance.
 
ElizabethB said:
@Elawin

My heart hurts for you. Is this your daughter or step daughter? Either way it must be very painful. Family is my salvation. Mother, all of my sibs, their children and grandchildren. We are all individuals that create a family. I could not survive without my family.
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My stepdaughter. If it had been my daughter, I would have given her a clump round the ear.
 
My sister has a 'potty mouth' as does my brother thankfully his 2 girls don't. My folks rarely ever swore and I do my best not to. I do if wound up and or angry but I don't like to.
 
MypinchofItaly said:
We were not welcome.
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How did you feel about it? Angry, Sad?[/QUOTE]

I felt angry about her attitude, but at the same time sad about her circumstances. Her mother had dragged those kids all over the place after she and her husband split up. Of course I only really knew one side of what it was all about, and since marrying and divorcing her father, I can't help thinking there was more to it all than I was ever told.

ElizabethB said:
My step son, DIL and nephew all have "dirty mouths". F bombs are part of their vocabulary. I find that kind of language very offensive and have told them so. If F bombs drop in my presence they have 2 options - clean up your language or leave.

I find vulgarity offensive and unnecessary. 0 tolerance.
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You wouldn't like to live where I do, @ElizabethB. It was a very rough area in the 1960s/1970s and, although it did change a bit for the better, it is getting rough again. Bad language is the least of our worries round here, although I don't condone it.

P.S. I'm just watching Gordon Ramsay on TV. Don't even go there, ElizabethB:laugh:
 
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Lullabelle said:
I have a poor memory when it comes to remembering names as did my mum and her mum so I find it easier to call people I know, honey, babe, darling, sweetie instead of insulting them by forgetting their names.
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My Mum used to go through all the family names before she got to mine. I was often called Jack or Tony :laugh:
 
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