I've had no contact with my biological father (or his family) since I was ?7 maybe... don't want it either if even half of what I've been told is true (and the lady who told me was very literally on her death bed at the time. She wanted to tell me more, but didn't have the strength, she died a few days later). I was able to contact his mother in my teens but she died before i left secondary school, so that was the sum total of the contact. I met my godmother, her husband (my biological father's brother) and their son once back when I was a teenager. I maintained contact via letters until his death. She moved and I didn't get her new address.
One of my uncles (mother's brother) left the family back in the 80s. We've had no contact with him since. I wouldn't object to seeing him again.
The other uncle (on my mum's side) on the other hand, well I'd rather I never had known him and since my grandfather's death, my mother has finally accepted that we're all better off not knowing him. I could have told her that a long time ago, but she kept hoping... he's been the cause of so many family problems... so I literally have my mum and 2nd step father, 1 full brother, 1 half sister & brother and a step brother who "arrived" with the 2nd step father some 15 years ago. That's it for "close" family on my side.
Hubby's family is normal thankfully.
I guess I'm fortunate. Although my mom used to drive me batty, it wasn't too bad. After I left for College, I just made sure to live at least 200 miles from her, so we would only be together for short visits.
The last time I lived with my parents was the day after I graduated High School.
My dad was always working, which culminated with him becoming President and COO of a major oil company. But, the price he paid is that we never did much together, so we never formed much of a bond. But that is who he is. With apologies to Descartes, my Dad's motto was "I work, therefore I am."
His brother, and his wife, and their kids and grandkids. Are a very close family. Both our family and his family get along great, although we live a long distance from them. My Uncle and Aunt were just down here last month.
My mom's twin sister died as an infant, so no Aunts or Uncles on that side.
My sister and I had NO friends in common growing up. My University and her's were an hour apart, and I went to a lot of TCU football games with her, and she set me up with dates with some of her sorority sisters.
When she graduated and bought a home, I became her unpaid handyman. Now that she lives in Houston, I can't just pop over to fix thing for her. But, she keeps a list of thing for me to do when I I'm down there.
We talk a lot on the phone now that my parents are needing a lot of attention.
CD
I totally understand, estrangement is a very painful thing even if it's necessary to do so. I hope taking this space will achieve whatever outcome is needed for your husband and his friend.
