What is Your Worst Cooking Disaster?

morning glory said:
I dread to think - its a miracle you ever grew up!
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@morning glory
Ha! It's beyond your imagination. After high-voltage became an everyday ho-hum, I learned from my Dad's uncle how to work with dynamite. He was using it on his farm to remove tree stumps once when we visited there. He readily revealed where he got it, and that is was easily purchased in many hardware stores. At the time I was about 14, retained that info mentally, then followed up on it at about 17..........
 
smellycat said:
First of all I laughed very hard reading the your first sentence. As a teenager or youngin'- I am momentarily highly grateful we did not know each other. Imagining the 'SEMI-SOFT- MILITARY' explosions around town.... short of juvenile court cases, social workers and parents, Im sure there would have been abundant supervision.

Now as a parent I have a mini me and she's a lot more aware of consequences than I ever was. Fortunately we live in a very rural area, acres, and she can make explosions and other 'POOF' experiments without notice. Plus I get my inner chemist satisfied. In my opinion its a win win.
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@smellycat
Reading between your lines, interpreting.......
If you have access to gas-welding equipment try inflating a toy balloon half with acetylene gas, half oxygen, tie it off, approach it with a lit wooden match stuck in a hole in the end of a wooden broom handle. Be cautious, though!
 
One of the times, I was making a 7up Cake. The thing began to rise, then it fell!! It felt like it had weighed a bloody ton!!
Later, I found out that I had used the wrong kind of flour - self-rising instead of regular flour!! It rises on egg power alone. No leavening agents at all!!! :headshake::eek:
 
Most of my early cooking were disasters in taste, but I ate it anyway. That is why my cooking improved so quickly.
 
Gawd, where to start. :giggle:

In an early cooking experiment I made some pasties. following the recipe it said something like "place pasties on a baking tray and bake for X minutes."

I couldn't find a tray so thought "blow it, I'll just whack them on the rack n the oven, what's the difference?"
As the pastry heated it softened, dumping the contents of the pasties all over the floor of the oven!

A couple of years ago I went to the pub for the meat draw (you buy raffle tickets and in the raffle win meat and crab/lobster). I won several joints of meat. After the meat draw I bought another raffle ticket for 'play your cards right' and won the right to play for the money. I won, £100.

I took the celebrations a little far and got a little tipsy. When I got home I had the munchies so decided to grill a couple of sausages. I fell asleep. The glass front to the grill shattered and all the knobs melted.
 
As a young wife in my early 20's I had a couple of epic failures that I shared with you in another post. Early in my participation in this forum there was a Beouf Bourganion challenge. I have made it many times. Because it was a challenge I went over board. Too many recipes and too many ingredients. A muddy mess. My most recent debacle was yesterday.
Tuesday evening George said he was hungry for a chicken and sausage gumbo . I pulled 2 packs of leg quarters, 2 breast, a rotisserie chicken carcass and a pheasant from G hunting trip in October. Yesterday morning G smoked the pheasant and cut the leg quarters. I went to the store for andouille, smoked tasso, fresh pork sausage , onions, celery, garlic and bell peppers. Lots of chicken broth.
When I make a gumbo I make a huge amount. I use 1 1/2 pints to 1 quart of dark roux.
I decided to make 2 quarts of roux. Plenty for the gumbo and plenty to jar and put in the fridge. Because of the volume I stirred that roux for 2 hours non stop. I thought my arm would fall off. When the color was a little short of milk chocolate I took it off of the heat and stirred for another 10 minutes
Perfect!
I put broth and vegetables in my gumbo pot then started ladling in the roux. It was BURNED!!
Mama was not happy. A run to the store for more broth and vegetables and jarred roux.
I was absolutely disgusted with myself.
When I got home sweet George had martinis ready .
I am ashamed just thinking about it. Seriously - I can make roux in my sleep.
Oh well. The gumbo turned out great. Plenty for the freezer.
You never get too old to make mistakes.



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