What is Your Worst Cooking Disaster?

Not quite a cooking disaster but a food disaster.
I was waiting for a fresh fish delivery from Regal Fish in Grimsby, due at 16:30ish one Friday afternoon. Once delivered normally I separated each piece and filleted then skinned them before individually cling filming them for freezing. This particular day I had an urgent call to make, so following receipt of the fish and as there was no space in the fridge I thought it best to place the whole delivery in the chest freezer until I returned about an hour later to sort it. Unfortunately my absence was much longer than an hour and involved a visit to the pub with a couple of friends. Upon returning home I totally forgot the fish which was now a -18 deg C block of ice in the freezer. Sunday morning when I opened the freezer there was the whole fish order still boxed and totally solid. I thawed it the best I could, salvaged some of it and returned it to the freezer raw, cooked and refroze some of it, cooked and ate some of it but about 1kg had to be binned as it didn't take well to being at room temperature while I tended to the other pieces. My wife was not too impressed.
 
Roasting a turkey for New Years', 12lbs, 10 hours, hard rubber at that point, bent utensils, a very temperamental time, for myself and the turkey. Twenty-five years of experience roasting turkeys, first fail. My Mother said you get one like that at least once in your lifetime. We settled for steak and all seemed happy about the food in the end, and the dessert was amazing which sweetened the deal. Still not trusting of turkeys though.
 
Windigo said:
Not my worst cooking disaster but I managed to ruin my entire wokful of nasi goreng this weekend because my Chinese 5 spice had gone bad and I hadn't tasted it. It was so bitter the dish was inedible.
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Very strange that it went bitter, generally it just gets weaker. I make my own.

1 tbsp ground real cinnamon
2 tbsp fennel seed
0.5 tbsp cloves
1.5 tbsp sichuan peppercorns
3 star anise maybe 4
1 tbsp ground ginger

toast then grind.
 
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Not really a disaster, but I've starting making my own mayonnaise and have done so four times now - two came out perfectly and two...didn't. Same recipe, same technique.

Now I'm afraid to try a fifth time, because if it doesn't work, I'll be below 50%.
 
TastyReuben said:
Not really a disaster, but I've starting making my own mayonnaise and have done so four times now - two came out perfectly and two...didn't. Same recipe, same technique.

Now I'm afraid to try a fifth time, because if it doesn't work, I'll be below 50%.
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Did they curdle or simply not thicken?
 
garlichead said:
Are you using an immersion blender?
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Yes, it's even the same one he's using. :laugh:

On the other question, yes, I very slowly drizzled the broken mayonnaise into the yolk. It fixed the broken aspect of it (or at least greatly helped it), but it never did set.

Troubleshooting my own problem, I think I probably overwhipped it with the stick blender. Anything automatic like that, it can go from perfect to effed-up in about three seconds.

The last batch I made, it was there, except there was just a touch of oil that still needed blended in, and that's where I went wrong, I think. I just kept blending, and then it was a mayonnaise beverage. :laugh:

I've struck upon the idea of getting it 4/5ths of the way done and finishing it by hand, like some people do with whipped cream done in a stand mixer, to keep from overmixing.

Normally, I'd be ticked off and swear to never make mayonnaise again, but now that I've had the good stuff, I can't go back.
 
Here's the funniest (to me) bit:

I went into the kitchen about 3PM to make salad dressing for supper, and I wanted to make a sort of creamy peppercorn dressing.

Opened the fridge...no mayonnaise (which rarely happens here, because I always keep an emergency jar in the cupboard).

Went to the cupboard, and like the nursery rhyme, the cupboard was bare. No mayonnaise.

No mayonnaise, no problem, I know how to make it!

Made the mayonnaise, it broke, tried to fix it, it wouldn't set.

Well, crap, now I've got to make some other dressing. I ended up just using all sour cream, thinned with a little cream, and seasoned up nicely. It was fine.

While making that dressing, I opened the cupboard to see if maybe I had one of those dry soup mixes, just to make it easy, the very same cupboard I'd just checked 10 minutes earlier for mayonnaise, and what was sitting there, front and center?

Yep, a 32oz jar of mayonnaise. I actually had it in my hand, moving it to the side to look for the seasoning packet! 🤦‍♂️

Golden years, my ass. 😒
 
TastyReuben said:
Yes, it's even the same one he's using. :laugh:

On the other question, yes, I very slowly drizzled the broken mayonnaise into the yolk. It fixed the broken aspect of it (or at least greatly helped it), but it never did set.

Troubleshooting my own problem, I think I probably overwhipped it with the stick blender. Anything automatic like that, it can go from perfect to effed-up in about three seconds.

The last batch I made, it was there, except there was just a touch of oil that still needed blended in, and that's where I went wrong, I think. I just kept blending, and then it was a mayonnaise beverage. :laugh:

I've struck upon the idea of getting it 4/5ths of the way done and finishing it by hand, like some people do with whipped cream done in a stand mixer, to keep from overmixing.

Normally, I'd be ticked off and swear to never make mayonnaise again, but now that I've had the good stuff, I can't go back.
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Yeah, with a whisk is probably your answer.

Depending on the actually yolk size 1.5 cups of oil is the absolute limit to what 2 yolks can absorb without breaking, I'm surprised chef John used that much considering I've seen some pretty small large egg yolks.
 
garlichead said:
Very strange that it went bitter, generally it just gets weaker. I make my own.

1 tbsp ground real cinnamon
2 tbsp fennel seed
0.5 tbsp cloves
1.5 tbsp sichuan peppercorns
3 star anise maybe 4
1 tbsp ground ginger

toast then grind.
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I think it is because I had it stand in a place near my water cooker which turned out to have caused condensation in that spot. So I am not putting any spices there in the future.
 
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