No, and even if she did, it's still kind of a let down, y'know? "Oh, thanks, just what I wanted...I wanted it so much, I bought it for myself last month, remember?"
The General Chat Thread (2016-2022)
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That's a good sign! The driving issue is very difficult to deal with indeed. I heard a phone in on the radio about it recently.
I misunderstood - I thought she had bought 'it' for you.
It is especially difficult living in Texas. We have no real mass transit. Driving is "freedom." It is a culture in Texas, not being able to drive is like not being able to walk.
We are going out for dinner Saturday. We will have to go in his Audi SUV, because my mom will not be able to get into the big, 4X4 truck I drove down here in (I don't drive my MINI on I-45 from Dallas to Houston -- too dangerous). I will sit in the back seat and monitor. If something really troubles me, I am going to have to sit down with him, alone, and deal with it. Not something I am looking forward to.
CD
It may sound trivial, but it's not. If it bothers you, and that's what you're going through, then it's not trivial.
With my wife, she has a lot of those symptoms as a result of her stroke. However, it's exacerbated by the fact that dementia decimated her mom's side of the family, especially the women, so there's always that feeling that it's inevitable.
I'm also not patient, and what I deal with are:
1. Super-focus on one thing at the exclusion of everything else. If she's playing a game on her phone, the house could be burning down around her and she'd be up in smoke before she knew it.
2. Necessity to explain things in great detail, with all the background context included - I mean her, not me.
"Did you book that trip for those people in Buttville?"
"Well, when I got up this morning, Kate was going crazy to eat...<three minutes of dog talk>...and then when FedEx showed up...<five minutes of FedEx talk>...ham and cheese..."
...and it'll take 20 minutes of unrelated jabber to finally get to the answer, and complicated by...
3. Constant word-finding. "I've already...already...the dog...you don't have to...DAMMIT!...the dog!...I've already...you don't!..."
...and I've figured out after the first three words that she's trying to tell me she's already fed the dog, but if I complete her sentence for her, she gets even madder.
4. Forgetfulness, like your partner. In the course of a day, I may tell her three or four times what we're doing for supper, and when I put the plate in front of her, it'll still be a surprise. What makes it more aggravating, I can say, "Well, I told you earlier today," and then she'll remember, so it's in there, bouncing around somewhere. So that means a lot of my day is playing Mr. Reminder for just about everything.
5. Completely unaware of the passage of time. Two minutes...two hours, it all feels the same to her. Makes it impossible to be on time for anything without a lot of nagging on my part.
The weird thing is...with her business, she doesn't miss a beat. She's meticulous, expert, efficient, and has an uncanny prescience for sussing out what's best for her clients. She's maintained this weird ability to connect seemingly disparate travel desires into a concise itinerary, where other travel agents would have given up.
All of this, of course, is in complete opposition to my personality. I'm a fast talker, fast walker, mentally fast, if that makes sense, and a lot of times, I feel like I'm stuck in this quicksand of slowness all around me. Drives me up a wall a lot of days, TBH.
so I get what you're saying about being frustrated to the point of screaming, over what seems like trivial things. A trickle of water will wear down a mountain just as surely as a tidal wave will bury one, it's just that one takes longer.
It may sound trivial, but it's not. If it bothers you, and that's what you're going through, then it's not trivial.
With my wife, she has a lot of those symptoms as a result of her stroke. However, it's exacerbated by the fact that dementia decimated her mom's side of the family, especially the women, so there's always that feeling that it's inevitable.
I'm also not patient, and what I deal with are:
1. Super-focus on one thing at the exclusion of everything else. If she's playing a game on her phone, the house could be burning down around her and she'd be up in smoke before she knew it.
2. Necessity to explain things in great detail, with all the background context included - I mean her, not me.
"Did you book that trip for those people in Buttville?"
"Well, when I got up this morning, Kate was going crazy to eat...<three minutes of dog talk>...and then when FedEx showed up...<five minutes of FedEx talk>...ham and cheese..."
...and it'll take 20 minutes of unrelated jabber to finally get to the answer, and complicated by...
3. Constant word-finding. "I've already...already...the dog...you don't have to...DAMMIT!...the dog!...I've already...you don't!..."
...and I've figured out after the first three words that she's trying to tell me she's already fed the dog, but if I complete her sentence for her, she gets even madder.
4. Forgetfulness, like your partner. In the course of a day, I may tell her three or four times what we're doing for supper, and when I put the plate in front of her, it'll still be a surprise. What makes it more aggravating, I can say, "Well, I told you earlier today," and then she'll remember, so it's in there, bouncing around somewhere. So that means a lot of my day is playing Mr. Reminder for just about everything.
5. Completely unaware of the passage of time. Two minutes...two hours, it all feels the same to her. Makes it impossible to be on time for anything without a lot of nagging on my part.
The weird thing is...with her business, she doesn't miss a beat. She's meticulous, expert, efficient, and has an uncanny prescience for sussing out what's best for her clients. She's maintained this weird ability to connect seemingly disparate travel desires into a concise itinerary, where other travel agents would have given up.
All of this, of course, is in complete opposition to my personality. I'm a fast talker, fast walker, mentally fast, if that makes sense, and a lot of times, I feel like I'm stuck in this quicksand of slowness all around me. Drives me up a wall a lot of days, TBH.
so I get what you're saying about being frustrated to the point of screaming, over what seems like trivial things. A trickle of water will wear down a mountain just as surely as a tidal wave will bury one, it's just that one takes longer.
I hadn't realised what you are going through - I mean, I know about what happened but didn't know the after effects were that serious. It sounds like you are having similar problems to me. And yes - I'm a fast brained one too.
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The latest update for the fire is 17,000 hectares (42,000 acres). It's 5km from our old home. Luckily the wind direction is taking it north and east. The house is west but that front is slowly creeping forward as well. The local towns with sizeable populations are now threatened with the bigger told that it is now too late to leave. 
That is very common with stroke survivors. They often have difficulty turning their thoughts into words.
CD
You would not do well in Texas. Down here, if I hire a contractor to do some work, and ask him how long it will take, he'll probably say, "I reckon I can get it done in a day or two." Translated into Texan, that means, "It will probably be done in three or four weeks, if it don't rain and my truck don't break down."
CD
The latest update for the fire is 17,000 hectares (42,000 acres). It's 5km from our old home. Luckily the wind direction is taking it north and east. The house is west but that front is slowly creeping forward as well. The local towns with sizeable populations are now threatened with the bigger told that it is now too late to leave.
Please tell me that you have an escape plan. Even if you don't end up needing it, I hope you have that plan.
I can't imagine authorities telling people it is "too late to leave." Just get in your car and drive away from where the fire is. Fires have no emotions... no sympathy. All you can do is get the #$*& out to the way.
CD
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Yes we have a plan in place.
Both vehicles have 24hrs of meds in them (or entire inhalers). There's a suitcase packed with 2 changes of clothes each, passports, wedding rings, useful paperwork (not necessarily essential but a pain to replace). Both vehicles have water (30L containers) and fine particulate air filter masks, blankets and pet carriers. Any animals we can catch in 5 mins (alarm set on phone) are rescued, the rest released. They are on their own. But if it were to get closer they wouldn't be let out so catching them would be much simpler. Most will come to our feet and be picked up. I've always made sure of that. 2 are broody right now so just sit and you could cut their throats and they'd not react! One is in a pet carrier anyway. Food and water for them is on both vehicles. My wheelchair in 1 car, my crutches in mine. All we need do is follow the list on the fridge. It's a tick list. I have a medical condition that prevents me from panicking (it's only useful side effect! ) so stay clear headed in emergencies. The bolt cutters are in the garage easy to find, as are all 3 axes and the chainsaw (battery on charge permanently). This makes any cross country escape easier though roads are easily blocked as well. My vehicle is a full 4x4 so would lead as hubby's is only an AWD. From this house we can exit in any direction luckily.
However, we'll be gone before it is that close.
It's definitely an eye opener when you hear the phrase 'residents have been told that it is too late to leave and that they should action their fire plan'. Basically you are now on your own, we can't get to you.
Thankfully it's nowhere near. It's only air quality affected here right now. It's much worse where we used to live. Luckily I'm not due back there this week because I was there the day the fire broke out and it was horrendous conditions that day (visibility was s down to 200m due to the dust storm and driving at 100kph impossible) . Fingers crossed for them.
rascal
Forum GOD!
Any update on rain? My friend at Milton has rain there!
Russ
Russ
Thanks! I will sleep better tonight. Sounds like a solid plan. I have several friends in California, and I always get antsy when a fire comes close to them -- and it is happening more and more thanks to that "hoax" that our president calls global warming.
I know you have animals, but if you can't take them with you, the best you can do is let them loose. Their natural instincts will take over, and probably save them.
We have never met, but I consider you a friend. Be safe!
CD
Yep, the best strategy is to have her think of a synonym for the word she's having difficulty with, and that usually unsticks the original word.
The stroke also changed her personality quite significantly - sort of a "Regarding Henry" kind of situation.
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Nothing yet, but we do finally have clouds which is a bonus because it means that it isn't as warm.
However the fire, now around 19,000 hectares, is big enough to actually be changing the weather in the area. Smoke being a cloud seeder! Still at least it is not the size of the ones up north that are still burning and well beyond the 800,000 hectares mark.
I've just looked on the rain radar and there is a tiny chance that the train in the Snowy's right now might not peater out before it gets to us. Though I'm not holding my breath because it is only pale green on the radar and that often turns into nothing...
Sadly most livestock do not survive bush fires. They die of smoke inhalation first, the same as humans. It is why they say when a fire is in your location to keep all animals penned up (or kept inside for dogs and cats etch other small animals etc) so that you can easily load them up to evacuate. It is also why we have agreed to set a timer on our phones. When that time is up, that is all we take. The rest are released so that there is a tiny chance they may survive. But we don't expect any to.
I also forgot to say we will take the crowbars with us as well. (It's on the check list on the fridge). It is just in case we have to evacuate cross-country and the bolt cutters are not big enough to deal with locked gates. Better not to hit locked gates just in case there is damage to your vehicle. (Both radiators are protected by substantial roo bars, it's the underneath of the vehicle that is my bigger concern).Changing a tyre on my 4x4 is no small job and could easily cost you everyone's life for the sake of opening a padlock. We have 2 sizes of crowbars available (not to mention 2 sizes of lump hammers and 3 sizes of axes ). I have no idea what would ever happen if we were stopped with more than 1 of each in a vehicle! Explaining 1 would be easy, explaining all well that would make life much more interesting to say the least!
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