The General Chat Thread (2016-2022)

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Duck59 said:
There is a rather tiresome line being trotted out that this virus "doesn't discriminate." It does. It disproportionately affects the old, the poor, healthcare workers and that might explain a lot about why ethnic minorities appear to come off worse.
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Absolutely, the poor here are hit disproportionally too. Rising prices, less availability of cheap foods due to hoarding , their jobs mostly continuing outside the home ( more risk for exposure) , getting paid less or fired due to the crisis and less help to stay home.

As a middle class person I donate money to food banks currently and try to help where I can because I have been poor too and am upset about it.
 
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caseydog said:
Although I oppose "fat shaming." (or any kind of shaming), I do worry that we've gone too far, to the point where we are "enabling" obesity, by trying to be "PC." My sister is dangerously obese, btw, so I have first hand experience of what tip-toeing around the truth can lead to.

CD
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I am fat too, and I have lost weight more times than you can count. Only to get told to lose weight every time I see a doctor, no matter that I gain it back as fast as I lost it each time and get a bonus with it.

Fat discrimination is very real and has not helped me one bit, I have an eating disorder due to my parents starving me as a child ( my parents were abusive) and I have been on prednisone half my life. I have CPTSD and one of my triggers are body shaming, I was told I was fat when you could count my ribs. I never heard anything else my entire life, skinny or not.

I don't claim obesity is healthy, but please stop shaming fat people. I get judged and stared at everywhere I go, if I could change this I would. It hurts deeply that people like me get looked at like we're just lazy when I have spent half my life or more dieting.

I just can't do it anymore because my eating disorder gets worse from it, and also from rude comments from ignorant people who tell me it's all just willpower.
 
Windigo said:
I get judged and stared at everywhere I go, if I could change this I would. It hurts deeply that people like me get looked at like we're just lazy when I have spent half my life or more dieting.
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From the few photos you've posted you certainly don't look fat to me at all. I'm so sorry to hear about your childhood. That's really tough.:hug:.
 
morning glory said:
From the few photos you've posted you certainly don't look fat to me at all. I'm so sorry to hear about your childhood. That's really tough.:hug:.
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Yeah but it's not a full body shot. My bmi is 35.4. It's on the low end of obesity but it qualifies. But it would never have gotten here if I had not been starved and later started dieting because I had taken the message that I was fat to heart at a bmi of 17.2 . I really wish I had never started.

Also fat is distrubuted differently on different bodies, I may not look obese but the scale says so. The irony is though that I have been medically treated for malnourishment at this weight too because while I am fat I don't absorb enough nutrients. I get protein shakes for that from the same doctors telling me to lose weight. It's really complex.
 
Windigo said:
I am fat too,
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I'd second what MG said, from your pics, you don't look "fat," but I'm also not going to discount what you're saying, and it sounds like you've had a terrible time of it. :(

Maybe you need to come live in Ohio. The American Midwest, we're rather known for our...hearty women (see the term "corn-fed"). :)
 
TastyReuben said:
I'd second what MG said, from your pics, you don't look "fat," but I'm also not going to discount what you're saying, and it sounds like you've had a terrible time of it. :(

Maybe you need to come live in Ohio. The American Midwest, we're rather known for our...hearty women (see the term "corn-fed"). :)
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In America they would not notice me probably if I believe the stories. It's different in Europe though, being as big as I am is less common. I have got support by now but it's been rough and it remains difficult when confronted with bias, be it medical or otherwise.

I've been in therapy for 10 years now and while I am better at coping it's hard to heal from wounds that keep being opened.
 
Windigo said:
In America they would not notice me probably if I believe the stories. It's different in Europe though, being as big as I am is less common. I have got support by now but it's been rough and it remains difficult when confronted with bias, be it medical or otherwise.

I've been in therapy for 10 years now and while I am better at coping it's hard to heal from wounds that keep being opened.
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This may fall into "thin shaming," but to give you an idea, a popular sort of vaudeville-style joke around here is:

"Hey mister, let me ask you, what's a skinny girl good for?"

"Nothing at all, friend, nothing at all..."

MrsTasty is definitely overweight, but her heart scans look great (apart from her congenital issue), her blood pressure is extremely low, and her heart rate is extremely low. Her docs all say the same thing, "You should probably lose weight, but most of the reasons why aren't a problem for you."

She's always had that classic Marilyn Monroe body type (big chest, small waist, big butt), but now at 56yo, it's bigger chest, not as small a waist, and bigger butt. :)
 
Once again, shame is a terrible motivator. It doesn't work, and in the long run, is counterproductive. But, giving an obese friend or family member a free pass isn't helpful, either. One can be honest with people they care about, without "shaming."

CD
 
TastyReuben said:
MrsTasty is definitely overweight, but her heart scans look great (apart from her congenital issue), her blood pressure is extremely low, and her heart rate is extremely low. Her docs all say the same thing, "You should probably lose weight, but most of the reasons why aren't a problem for you."
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Wish I had a doctor say that. I have none of the classic weight related conditions either and have been checked for diabetes at every single blood test for years, and every single one always comes back perfect. But all I get for that is suprised looks and 'but you'll need to lose weight now because you'll soon be diabetetic/ a heart patient / have high blood pressure anyway'.
Sure I understand the warning, but it's not necessary to bring it up at every single visit and yet that's what they do. I lost 30 lbs last year and they didn't glance, just said 'well you need to lose more to be healthy'. It's never good enough, and I just can't take it anymore. I have lost more than 30 lbs 20 times and my mental health has suffered for years from it. I won't do that anymore.
The doctors I work with know my story, but even when they are very compassionate they think the only thing that will really make me better is to suddenly become a healthy weight , which time just has proven hardly possible with the current resources. I used to walk 30 miles a week and I still didn't weigh less than 198 pounds. I just seem to be build that way. I can lose weight, but it just doesn't stay off.

And I am now working hard on accepting it. Sorry guys, rant over.
 
Windigo said:
Wish I had a doctor say that. I have none of the classic weight related conditions either and have been checked for diabetes at every single blood test for years, and every single one always comes back perfect. But all I get for that is suprised looks and 'but you'll need to lose weight now because you'll soon be diabetetic/ a heart patient / have high blood pressure anyway'.
Sure I understand the warning, but it's not necessary to bring it up at every single visit and yet that's what they do. I lost 30 lbs last year and they didn't glance, just said 'well you need to lose more to be healthy'. It's never good enough, and I just can't take it anymore. I have lost more than 30 lbs 20 times and my mental health has suffered for years from it. I won't do that anymore.
The doctors I work with know my story, but even when they are very compassionate they think the only thing that will really make me better is to suddenly become a healthy weight , which time just has proven hardly possible with the current resources. I used to walk 30 miles a week and I still didn't weigh less than 198 pounds. I just seem to be build that way. I can lose weight, but it just doesn't stay off.

And I am now working hard on accepting it. Sorry guys, rant over.
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What ever they say you beautiful Bella, we all made different they seem forget this.
Sarana x
 
Windigo said:
Wish I had a doctor say that.
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The best thing any doctor ever told either of us was to go by the big indicators - cholesterol, blood pressure, heart rate, pooping, and sleeping. If your cholesterol is good, your blood pressure and heart rate are good, you're pooping regularly and sleeping through the night, then regardless of how big or little or pear-shaped or chesty or big-bottomed, you're probably doing ok.

I'm no doctor, but I'm a big believer that being happy counts for a whole helluva lot of good health, and making someone feel like crap just doesn't work. Yep, it's a doctor's responsibility to point things out now and again, but not to badger someone about it.

I wish you had a better experience, as from your posts here, I know you're an absolutely lovely person, inside and out. 🤗
 
TastyReuben said:
I'm no doctor, but I'm a big believer that being happy counts for a whole helluva lot of good health, and making someone feel like crap just doesn't work. Yep, it's a doctor's responsibility to point things out now and again, but not to badger someone about it.

I wish you had a better experience, as from your posts here, I know you're an absolutely lovely person, inside and out. 🤗
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Well thankfully I am getting much happier by the day 😍 just my recent health issues triggered a small resurgence of my eating disorder because I was advised a gastric bypass by my surgeon, which scares the hell out of me as a person without a colon who already has a herniated stomach. I don't dare to do surgery there again unless it's to correct the hernia and even that is risky.

But I am too focussing on happy, and on trying to be as healthy as I can despite my size. Seems to work out well, as I have no weight related issues.
 
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