The General Chat Thread (2016-2022)

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TastyReuben said:
We get those here, but usually supporters, not candidates.

A big issue right now is the falling birth rate of "traditional" (i.e. white) Americans. There are more people than I care to admit who've floated the idea of strongly coercing women to have kids, whether they want to or not.

Used to, those nitwits were stuck out on the extreme right websites and groups, but they're creeping more and more into the mainstream.
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I chose to not have children. I raised my husband's four and that was quite enough, thank you. I don't knock anyone who wants to have children, and I like children, I just personally have always felt that the world keeps getting crappier and crappier and it's not a good place, so I did not want to bring another person into the world who would have to deal with this downward spiral of mankind.

There are a lot of uncaring people in this world. Example: I just got back from picking up my curbside grocery order and I saw a woman change her child's diaper in the parking lot and throw the dirty diaper out of her car into the parking lot, then drive off. Occasionally when I have to go inside of a store for some reason, like picking up a prescription (not often), I see someone who isn't wearing a mask, even though it's a mandate in our state.

Sorry for the doom and gloom, but there are too many selfish, self-entitled people in our country. Add a rampant pandemic and global warming to the mix and it's not a happy outlook.
 
JAS_OH1 said:
I chose to not have children.
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That's how MrsT and I are. We neither one of us, even as children ourselves, ever wanted to be parents (we didn't know each other as kids, it's just that we both always felt no wish to ever be parents), and now that that ship has sailed, we still have zero regrets that way.

Funny little side story: we were traveling around Alaska, and took the train from Denali down to Anchorage, an all-day ride, and during the ride, we were sat in a booth for four in an observation car. Very nice.

We were sharing the booth with an older couple, like 70's, and once everyone got situated, the usual questions about where are you from and what do you do were asked.

Finally, the next question the woman asked us, "So...do you have any kids?"

MrsTasty and I are always a little hesitant in answering that, because over the years, we've been seriously chewed out for having the temerity of not producing children. We did our usual thing of just answering simply that no, we didn't have any, and braced ourselves for some sometimes way to personal interrogation over why we didn't.

Instead, the older woman's mood instantly lightened considerably, and she nearly giggled, saying "You don't?! Neither do we! Honestly, I hate asking that, but then it's expected, and I'm always faced with parents droning on about their kids and showing us pictures we don't really want to see and saying 'That's cute,' and 'Ohhhh, nice,' when I'd really rather hear more about you!"

:laugh:

They turned out to be a couple of real cards, retired, well-off, and spending most of the year on some trip somewhere.
 
One of my grandma's saying is that children only create unhappiness in marriages and that couples without children are a lot happier. Still, she insists everyone must have children and the only valid reason why you may be childless is if you can't conceive. Probably because that's the way she was taught, that you're supposed to get married and have children doesn't matter if that's what makes you happy or not.

I really enjoy teasing her about this inconsistency. Just the other day she was asking me about a friend who's been married for 5 years and doesn't she want to have children, I said "no" (not the real answer) and she replied "How odd! Why is that?" My answer was "Aren't you always saying couples with children are unhappy? She has a happy marriage and her husband is her best friend, do you think she wants to ruin that?" :D She was silent.
 
LissaC said:
One of my grandma's saying is that children only create unhappiness in marriages and that couples without children are a lot happier. Still, she insists everyone must have children and the only valid reason why you may be childless is if you can't conceive. Probably because that's the way she was taught, that you're supposed to get married and have children doesn't matter if that's what makes you happy or not.

I really enjoy teasing her about this inconsistency. Just the other day she was asking me about a friend who's been married for 5 years and doesn't she want to have children, I said "no" (not the real answer) and she replied "How odd! Why is that?" My answer was "Aren't you always saying couples with children are unhappy? She has a happy marriage and her husband is her best friend, do you think she wants to ruin that?" :D She was silent.
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My mom is like that. She'll tell you with no shame that the only kids she ever cared about were her six, and every other kid (including her grandkids and great-grandkids) do nothing but get on her nerves and aggravate her.

You know how new parents are, very proud and they love to show their kids off...she found out one of her grandkids was coming to bring his first kid to see her for the first time.

She was complaining about it to me, and she finally blurted out, "Don't they know I already raised my kids?! I don't care a thing about theirs!" :laugh:
 
TastyReuben said:
My mom is like that. She'll tell you with no shame that the only kids she ever cared about were her six, and every other kid (including her grandkids and great-grandkids) do nothing but get on her nerves and aggravate her.

You know how new parents are, very proud and they love to show their kids off...she found out one of her grandkids was coming to bring his first kid to see her for the first time.

She was complaining about it to me, and she finally blurted out, "Don't they know I already raised my kids?! I don't care a thing about theirs!" :laugh:
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TastyReuben i didn't know you didn't have kids, hell I had two by the time I was 17. I used to sleep around a lot. No protection, never gave it a thought. I only found out and met up with my first who I didn't know about. I knocked his mum up when I was 15. We found out and met about 7 years ago. He's a chip,off the old block. We get on good. I have two with my wife. My three fave aunties were spinsters and enjoyed life.

Russ
 
TastyReuben said:
My mom is like that. She'll tell you with no shame that the only kids she ever cared about were her six, and every other kid (including her grandkids and great-grandkids) do nothing but get on her nerves and aggravate her.

You know how new parents are, very proud and they love to show their kids off...she found out one of her grandkids was coming to bring his first kid to see her for the first time.

She was complaining about it to me, and she finally blurted out, "Don't they know I already raised my kids?! I don't care a thing about theirs!" :laugh:
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My sister closest to me in age is a prime example of not caring about any other children than her own, and I think she was really glad to be an empty nester when the time came. When people start talking about their kids, she squirms and doesn't really feign interest, though she will gladly boast of her own children's accomplishments when asked.

People just assume that older people all love babies, too (the same people also think that all babies are cute). It's just so not true. I am getting up there in age, I am 58, so I guess I am "old", especially compared to someone in their 20s or 30s (I remember being that age and thinking 40-50 was old, LOL). I don't love babies, though I am fond of well-behaved children. I don't find babies particularly interesting. I was extremely grateful that all of my hubby's kids could walk, talk, feed themselves, and go to the bathroom all by themselves when I met him (they were ages 5, 7, 9, and 11).

So my oldest stepdaughter is now 30 and has a baby of her own. We have been up to see her a few times (she lives 2 hours away), and especially pre-COVID she would ask, "Don't you want to hold her?" Me: "Nope, I'm good." I explained to her that she was very cute (she kinda is) and all that, but she couldn't talk, she didn't know me, she pees, poops, and cries, and I will be a lot more interactive with her when she can talk, walk, laugh, and recognizes my face. My stepdaughter, whom I love dearly (even more so now that she is a grownup), gave me a mousepad with the baby's head on it for Mother's Day (they put this damn large pink bow on her bald head, looks ridiculous, LOL). I appreciated the gesture, but probably would have rather had a mousepad with the three of them together. Without the big pink bow, thank you very much!

The baby is now 10 months old, so she is getting there...
 
JAS_OH1 said:
In our country, there are politicians who think that even if the baby has known birth defects discovered early through amniocentesis that are going to cause miserable conditions for the child and it's family or even if the baby will likely die from these birth defects, they still don't want women to get abortions. Also those same politicians believe that pregnancies that occur from rape or incest should not be aborted, no matter how the mother feels about it. And there is a part of the population who feels the same way. It sickens me. And now Trump would LOVE to get a hard right wing conservative in the Supreme Court who will make it even harder for women in our country to deal with unwanted pregnancies. And they want to do away with the "morning after" pill as well.

I of course agree that abortion should not be used as a form of birth control, obviously that's a horrible idea. But so is bringing unwanted children into the world, especially in the cases of rape, incest, and severely debilitating birth defects. It's just going to lead to more "back alley" abortions that could result in infections and death.
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That's it, in a nutshell. And, it is why "Evengelicals" support Trump. They made a deal with the Devil -- you give us Judges who will overturn Roe v Wade, and we will ignore all the "indiscretions" of your past. They know who/what he is, but don't care as long as they get their judges. And, he gives them what they want.

CD
 
Sunny 29c here yesterday. Thunderstorms from the west today up till Sunday. The temp drops to a cool 19c on Sunday. It then return to the normal Sunny 23/24 for the first half of October.
 
caseydog said:
That's it, in a nutshell. And, it is why "Evengelicals" support Trump. They made a deal with the Devil -- you give us Judges who will overturn Roe v Wade, and we will ignore all the "indiscretions" of your past. They know who/what he is, but don't care as long as they get their judges. And, he gives them what they want.

CD
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One thing that shows the hypocrisy of your Evangelicals anti-Muslim opinions, they blindly support Israel. One of the few thing I currently support is this. Israel’s abortion law now among world’s most liberal
 
TastyReuben said:
That's how MrsT and I are. We neither one of us, even as children ourselves, ever wanted to be parents (we didn't know each other as kids, it's just that we both always felt no wish to ever be parents), and now that that ship has sailed, we still have zero regrets that way.

Funny little side story: we were traveling around Alaska, and took the train from Denali down to Anchorage, an all-day ride, and during the ride, we were sat in a booth for four in an observation car. Very nice.

We were sharing the booth with an older couple, like 70's, and once everyone got situated, the usual questions about where are you from and what do you do were asked.

Finally, the next question the woman asked us, "So...do you have any kids?"

MrsTasty and I are always a little hesitant in answering that, because over the years, we've been seriously chewed out for having the temerity of not producing children. We did our usual thing of just answering simply that no, we didn't have any, and braced ourselves for some sometimes way to personal interrogation over why we didn't.

Instead, the older woman's mood instantly lightened considerably, and she nearly giggled, saying "You don't?! Neither do we! Honestly, I hate asking that, but then it's expected, and I'm always faced with parents droning on about their kids and showing us pictures we don't really want to see and saying 'That's cute,' and 'Ohhhh, nice,' when I'd really rather hear more about you!"

:laugh:

They turned out to be a couple of real cards, retired, well-off, and spending most of the year on some trip somewhere.
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I was dwelling on this post, and it came to mind a few people who I know that, although they knew their spouses didn't want children when they got married, somehow assumed that would change later. It didn't. It generally resulted in divorce.
 
JAS_OH1 said:
It generally resulted in divorce.
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I must be a conundrum. First marriage, we did not want kids. We had 9 wonderful years, 10th year she tricked me by stopping the pill. Divorce. I got a vasectomy.
Current marriage. Mrs Blank does not want kids, 21 years of happiness and love for each other.
 
TastyReuben my grandma (not the grandma I was talking about) didn't want to have my mother and my mother didn't want to have me (we were both accidents). I remember my grandma telling my mom that when she found she was pregnant with her she cried so much. And telling me when my mom found out she was pregnant with me it was too late for an abortion. Back then abortion was still illegal but there's a spanish town called Badajoz on the border with Portugal, portuguese people used to go there to get abortions. Nowadays abortion is legal but when we think about Badajoz we still think about candy caramel and abortion clinics.

I am lucky to have friends who are happily married and friends who are parents and enjoy it, because the examples in my family are really bad. My paternal grandmother says all men cheat and children make you miserable but she still expects me to get married, to a man who will cheat (because that's what men do) and have children who will make me miserable (because that's what children do). My maternal grandma used to say "Never get married, marriage is prison!" :roflmao: She was married 50+ years to a man who adored her but they had very different temperaments and she couldn't stand him, she married because he had won the lottery in Mozambique at that time.
 
LissaC said:
TastyReuben my grandma (not the grandma I was talking about) didn't want to have my mother and my mother didn't want to have me (we were both accidents). I remember my grandma telling my mom that when she found she was pregnant with her she cried so much. And telling me when my mom found out she was pregnant with me it was too late for an abortion. Back then abortion was still illegal but there's a spanish town called Badajoz on the border with Portugal, portuguese people used to go there to get abortions. Nowadays abortion is legal but when we think about Badajoz we still think about candy caramel and abortion clinics.

I am lucky to have friends who are happily married and friends who are parents and enjoy it, because the examples in my family are really bad. My paternal grandmother says all men cheat and children make you miserable but she still expects me to get married, to a man who will cheat (because that's what men do) and have children who will make me miserable (because that's what children do). My maternal grandma used to say "Never get married, marriage is prison!" :roflmao: She was married 50+ years to a man who adored her but they had very different temperaments and she couldn't stand him, she married because he had won the lottery in Mozambique at that time.
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Married women cheat too. Sometimes, with married men. Trust me, I am right about that.

CD
 
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