The General Chat Thread (2016-2022)

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and wait for someone to give exhaustive answers after my spirit (sic!) has left the building.
As long as it's Elvis I'm okay with that. You see like you we both have no definitive proof that an omnipotent god does or does not exist. I personally think it's a waste of my time investing my energies in anything without substantial proof. God to me is like a Vindaloo, looks good, sounds good but hard to digest without mental flatulence.
 
Better than on long haul airplanes. At least you can leave a restaurant!

When I used to fly long hauls regularly, my first request at check-in would be an emergency exit seat. As I'm 1.93 m tall that generally worked. However, if all those seats were taken I would request an upgrade. About 20% of the time that was successfully but otherwise my next choice would be bulkhead. And we can all guess who I could be sat next to on a bulkhead seat!
 
I was dwelling on this post, and it came to mind a few people who I know that, although they knew their spouses didn't want children when they got married, somehow assumed that would change later. It didn't. It generally resulted in divorce.
Yup, for some people, "it's just what you do," is an inescapable script to life, I think.

The first night I met my future wife, we were talking and stumbled by accident on our mutual decisions to never be parents, so the idea of no kids was with us every step of our relationship.

Even so, once we decided to get married, we both discussed it at great length, and the takeaway from each of us to the other was, "Don't think for one minute I'm changing my mind on this once we get married!" :laugh:

I love babies and don't understand how people don't like them - the same way people who love dogs don't understand why I don't like them.
Honestly, I find nothing intrinsically sweet or cute about babies, that's just the truth. I don't. My personal limit for when a "kid" becomes tolerable is about 25. That sounds like a joke, but it isn't! :)

I absolutely adore dogs. Every dog. Your dog, my dog, old dogs, bad dogs, pups, doesn't matter. However, I do fully understand how some people don't. They require a lot of care. They (sometimes) eat poop. They roll in smelly stuff, they run away, they mess the house up, so I get how some people don't want one.

Someone in my family was showing around a new baby once, and my dad commented, "That thing looks just like a canned ham." That made me laugh. :)

It doesn't end at 18 years!
So true. Whether it's good or bad, you're invested for the rest of your life (or theirs, should that happen).

I've got absolute horror stories of adult children behavior, just from my own family, and going on right now, and looking back on my own decision regarding kids, from for as long as I can remember, I still feel I made exactly the right decision for me. It's simply a matter of the good outweighing the bad, and I observe a lot more bad than I do good, and every time one of my boneheaded niblings does something monumentally stupid, I think, "So glad I dodged that bullet!" I'm just not a gambler with something I can't give back if I change my mind.
 
So true. Whether it's good or bad, you're invested for the rest of your life (or theirs, should that happen).

That's the one thing that holds me back about having children, is what if your child suffers? I don't mean the regular things like falling out with friends or romantic breakups, although I'm sure parents suffer that with the child too, I mean the heavy things like serious diseases or worst. A child's pain must be unbearable. And parents never recover from the loss a child, even if the child was 50.
 
my dad commented, "That thing looks just like a canned ham.
They all look like Mussolini to me!
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Yup, for some people, "it's just what you do," is an inescapable script to life, I think.
I blame mothers , the majority start indoctrinating the female child with dolls and prams in the hope the child when it grows up will produce offspring and suffer the same trials and tribulations they did.
My mum could not have daughters, in later life I understood why she dressed me in frocks.
 
That's the one thing that holds me back about having children, is what if your child suffers? I don't mean the regular things like falling out with friends or romantic breakups, although I'm sure parents suffer that with the child too, I mean the heavy things like serious diseases or worst. A child's pain must be unbearable. And parents never recover from the loss a child, even if the child was 50.
The whole family suffers, of course. My stepson had an inoperable brain tumor at 16. It was very scary, touch and go, we thought he was going to die. He lived, but he is forever changed. He will never be fully independent, even though he has a job and can drive. He isn't thriving and it's like he is stuck at 16 forever. He lives in a separate wing of our house. He pays rent and buys his own groceries and such. But he doesn't date, has never had a girlfriend, no friends (except at work)...and he's 32 years old, content to play video games and his guitar, never going anywhere or wanting more out of life. It's quite sad.
 
I am so sorry to hear about your stepson JAS_OH1. I can only imagine the pain you and the family must feel.
Well thank you. We've just grown to accept him for who he is. He underwent radiation and chemo all those years ago, so the tumor is gone and he's in no danger, but the treatments changed him for life. We just often wonder what his could have been like, as he was quite bright and outgoing before he got sick.
 
That's the one thing that holds me back about having children, is what if your child suffers?
I never really got past, what if my child makes me suffer? :laugh:

I blame mothers , the majority start indoctrinating the female child with dolls and prams in the hope the child when it grows up will produce offspring and suffer the same trials and tribulations they did.
Really, I think it's just societal conditioning, which strives to beat people into one big mass of conformity, whether it be having children, or the "proper" path in life (school->good job->married->kids->retire->get fat->die), or whatever. Color outside the lines, and you're a heretic.

Years ago, we were at a work function (military), seated at a table of six or eight couples, varying ages, and being newly married and the youngest there, some of the older married couples started asking the usual questions.

When it got to kids and we said, "We'll pass, thanks," then the badgering started, which contained some phrases like, "But it's a woman's job to have kids!" and "It's the whole reason we're here, to continue the species!"

One of the more vulgar reasons given was when someone said, "Don't you want to know if your d!ck works?" - MrsTasty's withering response was, "We've tried it out a lot, and it works just fine, but we're going to check again as soon as we get home, probably right there in the living room. No kids to interrupt, you know?" :laugh:
 
More health insurance woes:
Went to the doc, whom I haven't seen since October. Found out my doc sold the practice to a health network and left. Whatever. Nurse went to take my blood, then stopped and said, "Who's your insurance with?"
I told her and she stopped, explaining, "Blood draws by us aren't covered, you'll need to go to the hospital." So they did the rest of the exam, wrote me out a slip for blood work, and off I went to the hospital.

Now, a month later, I got a whopping $500 bill for the lab work (usual bill, with insurance, is about $15). That's the entrance to health insurance phone hell.

First call, to the lab who did the testing: "You need to call your insurance. They denied two of the tests as 'medically unnecessary.'

Second call, to my insurance: "You need to call your doctor, they coded it wrong."

Third call, to my doctor: "You need to call our billing service, they're the ones who coded it."

Fourth call, to the billing service: "Our computers are down, call back Monday."

Fifth call, back to the billing service: "Your doctor hasn't been cleared to order blood draws through your insurance yet, so we coded this as out-of-network. We're just getting that set up. We'll get that done and re-bill it, so wait a month, and see if you get another bill for less."

So, the more I thought about it, the "we coded this as out-of-network" didn't wash, as when I later got the paper bill and could see the itemized charges, some of the bill was covered. So I called the doc's billing department back.

I spoke to a different person, and she concurred that the guy who told me it was coded out-of-network was full of crap. She then said that since the doc's office didn't physically draw the blood and just ordered it, I needed to call the hospital where my blood was actually drawn.

Called the hospital. She told me that they don't determine what the code is, that they get the code from the doc's order and that's what they use, and that I needed to call the doc back, but not the doc's billing department, the actual doc's office, and have them submit a corrected physician's order directly to the lab that sent me the bill.

Called the doc's office back. She said, "I only have five codes I can use, and the one I used is obviously wrong. You need to call the lab that billed you, find out what code works, then call me back and tell me, then I'll resubmit it. Otherwise, I'll just start with the next code, then the next one, and so on, until I get to the right one." 😒

Called the lab, and they said (as I expected), that they don't know what code is the right code, to call the insurance company for that.

Called my insurance company, and finally I got someone who gave a crap about doing a good job. It took her over an hour of research, but she determined two tests (out of six or seven), were denied, and she found a proper code for one and resubmitted that to the lab while I was on the phone.

The other one, she said that test was only to be used if I was being actively treated for a particular condition, and that the code was such-and-such, but she couldn't resubmit that, that I would have to call my doc, find out why that test was ordered, as I didn't have that condition, and if I did have that condition and didn't know it, then have them note that and resubmit the claim with that code.

Called my doc back, and the nurse said that they always order that test as a monitoring test, blah blah blah, but she took the code and will try resubmitting it.

Now I just have to wait 3-4 weeks for a new bill. 😐
 
TastyReuben that sounds like something like taken out of Catch22. Lack of basic healthcare coverage is something I just don't understand. Some people argue you'll get poor service if you're not paying for it and it limits your freedom of choice but you can still opt to have private healthcare if you prefer. Here in Portugal you can have both. Most people who have private healthcare use it for regular appointments and they go to public hospitals when they feel seriously ill. Public hospitals actually have access to a wider variety of medical equipment whereas private hospitals often lack certain services (like a blood bank for example. Do you really want to give birth in a place without a blood bank and no ICU services for newborns?). Good doctors like to work in public hospitals, not because they're treated better there (on the contrary), but because the public hospital gives them a chance to see a wider variety of pathologies.
 
My sister closest to me in age is a prime example of not caring about any other children than her own, and I think she was really glad to be an empty nester when the time came. When people start talking about their kids, she squirms and doesn't really feign interest, though she will gladly boast of her own children's accomplishments when asked.

People just assume that older people all love babies, too (the same people also think that all babies are cute). It's just so not true. I am getting up there in age, I am 58, so I guess I am "old", especially compared to someone in their 20s or 30s (I remember being that age and thinking 40-50 was old, LOL). I don't love babies, though I am fond of well-behaved children. I don't find babies particularly interesting. I was extremely grateful that all of my hubby's kids could walk, talk, feed themselves, and go to the bathroom all by themselves when I met him (they were ages 5, 7, 9, and 11).

So my oldest stepdaughter is now 30 and has a baby of her own. We have been up to see her a few times (she lives 2 hours away), and especially pre-COVID she would ask, "Don't you want to hold her?" Me: "Nope, I'm good." I explained to her that she was very cute (she kinda is) and all that, but she couldn't talk, she didn't know me, she pees, poops, and cries, and I will be a lot more interactive with her when she can talk, walk, laugh, and recognizes my face. My stepdaughter, whom I love dearly (even more so now that she is a grownup), gave me a mousepad with the baby's head on it for Mother's Day (they put this damn large pink bow on her bald head, looks ridiculous, LOL). I appreciated the gesture, but probably would have rather had a mousepad with the three of them together. Without the big pink bow, thank you very much!

The baby is now 10 months old, so she is getting there...
WOW!!! I can fully relate/identify with what you said. I always say jokingly “I was born without the maternal gene” ... 🙃🤪

I,too, married a man with 5 kids who went on to have 8 grand kids between them. Great kids, self sufficient, they fully understand I am not the “motherly” type and we all get along great. For that, I feel extremely fortunate.
 
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