The General Chat Thread (2016-2022)

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The Velvet Curtain said:
To follow Lu's post, two above. Today we have finished cleaning and redecorating her dad's house, removed and sold the last of his possessions that we did not want to hold onto, and handed the keys back to the property owner. This is the crap that the vast majority of us face at some point, and it is our turn this month. Some day, someone will do this for us, then some day some one will do it for them, it's part of the cycle of life.

Tonight we are at peace, in the last 15 years we have seen off all four parents and two siblings (one each), hopefully we now look forward to several years without any family funerals.
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That's a good thing to do, when mum passed we gave everything to the sallies. Prolly 5 to 10 k of stuff. She had the best. We just took momentos. We have enduring power of attorney over each other here. And kids that get on with each other.

Russ
 
Brining gerkins/pickles from garden then made vinegar pickling juice. Will bottle tomorrow.
Then made a double batch of Garam masala. Dry roasted cumin as I needed some ground as well.

Russ
 
The Velvet Curtain said:
To follow Lu's post, two above. Today we have finished cleaning and redecorating her dad's house, removed and sold the last of his possessions that we did not want to hold onto, and handed the keys back to the property owner. This is the crap that the vast majority of us face at some point, and it is our turn this month. Some day, someone will do this for us, then some day some one will do it for them, it's part of the cycle of life.

Tonight we are at peace, in the last 15 years we have seen off all four parents and two siblings (one each), hopefully we now look forward to several years without any family funerals.
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My parents are at a point where they really need to be in assistive living home -- 88 and 86. They can afford to buy a very nice assisted living condo. But, not until after Covid, because it would not be safe at this time. My sister and I will need to sell their 4,000 square foot house, and the stuff in it. My mom has a collection of about 300 pieces of Lladro. My sister and I have each picked out our favorite piece to keep. The rest will go to auction. Then there is my grandfather's grand piano in the living room. That keeps me awake some nights.

My biggest fear is the day I have to go to my dad and take his car keys away. He has mostly good days, but recently some bad days. He has been in 3 wrecks in the last 4 years. Before that, I think his last car wreck was in the 1980s, and it wasn't his fault. I live 250 miles from my parents, but my sister lives 5 miles from them. I can live in a somewhat state of denial. She can't.

TVC and Lu, I am very glad that you are at peace. I hope I can deal with the coming years as well as it seems you did.

CD
 
caseydog said:
My parents are at a point where they really need to be in assistive living home -- 88 and 86. They can afford to buy a very nice assisted living condo. But, not until after Covid, because it would not be safe at this time. My sister and I will need to sell their 4,000 square foot house, and the stuff in it. My mom has a collection of about 300 pieces of Lladro. My sister and I have each picked out our favorite piece to keep. The rest will go to auction. Then there is my grandfather's grand piano in the living room. That keeps me awake some nights.

My biggest fear is the day I have to go to my dad and take his car keys away. He has mostly good days, but recently some bad days. He has been in 3 wrecks in the last 4 years. Before that, I think his last car wreck was in the 1980s, and it wasn't his fault. I live 250 miles from my parents, but my sister lives 5 miles from them. I can live in a somewhat state of denial. She can't.

TVC and Lu, I am very glad that you are at peace. I hope I can deal with the coming years as well as it seems you did.

CD
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It's a fine line when you have to take keys off them, we have a friend going through dementia, his wife is pretty cold to him, and she's still letting him drive. I asked her if still last week at dinner club. She said still,driving but he has a name badge on him so people know his name. Hell that's bad. My wife thinks she wants him to kill himself. My wife and I thought we might ring the police in case he kills someone?? Jury is still out??

Russ
 
rascal said:
It's a fine line when you have to take keys off them, we have a friend going through dementia, his wife is pretty cold to him, and she's still letting him drive. I asked her if still last week at dinner club. She said still,driving but he has a name badge on him so people know his name. Hell that's bad. My wife thinks she wants him to kill himself. My wife and I thought we might ring the police in case he kills someone?? Jury is still out??

Russ
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My mom gave up driving about 15 years ago. Her eyesight was not good, even back then. She was afraid she wouldn't see a kid on a bicycle dart onto the road, and kill him. She just said, "I'm done with driving." She sold me her almost new car for half of what it was worth. I didn't actually want that car, but you just don't turn down certain offers. I bought it, and kept it for 8 months, and sold it.

My dad is a different story. I fear that I am going to have to TAKE his car keys away at some point in time. That is going to be hard.

My dad and I have never been "close," but he's my dad. In my current optimistic state of denial, I hope he will decide on his own that he has to stop driving. But I dread the day that I may have to make the decision for him.

CD
 
Many years ago (about 20), I broke my key in the lock to the front door of the house. Unfortunately, although I had the key to the back door it was also bolted top and bottom. My girlfriend at the time called a locksmith that she knew who arrived within half an hour carrying only a hammer and chisel!

I explained that he was not going near my 500 quid front doors with either of those implements.

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The problem was finally resolved by breaking a panel of a kitchen window (the hammer was useful for that) and him climbing through to unbolt the rear door. Once inside we could open the front doors and replace the lock.
 
A sprinkling of snow here, likely to become a pile in the next few days. However, one bright spot. Our TV reception has been getting worse and worse. We're okay with the stuff that is provided via internet - in our case, BT Sport - but the terrestrial reception has been decidedly rubbish. The worst bit is when a train goes by, which is quite often given that we are next to the main east coast railway line. We reckon that it's simply a case of the cables connected to the outdoor aerial are, in scientific terms, knackered.

Rather than going for some kind of expensive outside aerial and getting someone to install it, we'd try a small indoor one. We're not far from a transmitter, so it seemed worth a punt. We got this diddy little thing for ten quid. Sceptic that I am, I wasn't expecting much, but zing! Plugged it in and our signal strength and quality is suddenly up to 100%. Not bad for something that's all of 13 cm high.

(Duck pencil sharpener added for scale)

56846
 
My 81 year old dad played snooker twice a week with his 91 year old friend Morris, they played, chatted with others, had lunch and chatted up the ladies who worked in the kitchen. We offered Morris dad's cue and stand. He picked it up on Friday whilst we were there, we had a chat and a laugh about the young women not believing their ages, I can believe that, neither of them look their age, very sprightly, even at the end dad still didn't look 81.
 
caseydog said:
My biggest fear is the day I have to go to my dad and take his car keys away.
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Don't get me started on this. My dad is 83 next month and well into his dementia journey, to the point that he hallucinates entire events that didn't happen, yet he still drives, and when anyone talks to him about driving, he's very open about not knowing where he is or where he's going, "...which is why she comes along," he says, pointing to my mom.

The thing that gets me is no one else really sees this as much of a problem. They see it more like a minor inconvenience, but nothing to worry about. I mentioned it to my brother not long ago, about all of us intervening, and he said, "I told them just to make sure they have a cell phone with them in case they get lost." WTF?

The last time I rode with my dad was probably 10 years ago, and back then, he was running red lights and stop signs like it was a game, and he's only gotten worse. He drives like he's the only one on the road and that he can put his car anywhere he wants.

It's that feeling of having a loved on addicted to drugs - you feel like any day, you're going to wake up to a tragedy. I'm just waiting for the night I'm watching the evening news and hear a story about "a man plowed through a farmer's market today, killing six people."
 
For those of you worried about your parents driving, most states have laws that if you and/or your parent's doctor (who usually is required by law to report them once notified) calls the DMV or police (and it can be done anonymously usually) they can require your parent take a driving ability test again like when they first got their license. You won't be in the position of being the bad child then.
 
medtran49 said:
For those of you worried about your parents driving, most states have laws that if you and/or your parent's doctor (who usually is required by law to report them once notified) calls the DMV or police (and it can be done anonymously usually) they can require your parent take a driving ability test again like when they first got their license. You won't be in the position of being the bad child then.
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I don't know our friends doctor? As I said we are still thinking about ringing the police, and the consequences? He has already driven into a ditch on his way home once.

Russ
 
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