Another disaster birthday went by.
I honestly don't understand people who treat their birthday as "just another regular day", because I approach my birthday like I'm still a 5 year old child. I love celebrating my birthday! I love the attention, and singing happy birthday, and blowing candles, and cutting the cake, and eating the only cake I like which is sponge cake with egg candy, and dinner with my friends, and unwrapping gifts, etc, etc. Last year my birthday was on the 3rd day of lockdown and it sucked big time. Everything was closed and everyone was terrified of dying from the new plague so I sat home alone all day, had a big argument at work, didn't see anyone for the day, and only got birthday presents in June.
I had big expectations for this year's birthday, but once again, we are in lockdown again, everything is closed, and although people are a bit more relaxed with the restrictions there's no chance of me having a bday dinner. I spent the weeks before my birthday agonizing over the day. The day came and it was a rollercoaster so huge I don't think I'll ever care about celebrating my birthday again.
I had taken the day off and was planning on spending the day home watching movies and eating ice cream with boyfriend, but on Monday mom invited us for dinner on my bday. My eyes lit up at the realization that this year I will have a bday cake, and blow candles, and eat cake
Then boyfriend revealed he ordered me a cake. Which made me very happy, but he ordered me a cake I don't like so we'd still have to go out and buy a cake I like.
Birthday came, and first surprise of the day, poor grandma showed up at my door with my gift, and cake, a fried chicken she made me. But I didn't tell her I took the day off, and I was asleep, and woke 2 hours later to find her messages, and she was rightfully very upset that I didn't get the door
Later, boyfriend insisted I come with him to get the cake he ordered me and grab my gift that was in his house. I really wanted to stay home but he insisted I join him so I thought "hmmm maybe he has a surprise for me" and off we went, but no, he just wanted to have company. So we went to get his cake, but that supermarket didn't have the cake I like, so we went to his house to get my gifts, then to another supermarket but the queue outside was too large and I was starving so we went home. I looked at my clock, it was 1:36PM and we were out on his car running errands, and had not had lunch yet (I usually lunch at 12PM), and we did not have my cake, and I started feeling stressed out. So we went home to a late lunch (I hate lunching late!), and we were supposed to go out and get my cake but really all I wanted was sit in front of the couch watching a movie and eating ice cream which is what I had envisioned for my birthday. So we did. When the movie was over, I had to ran to the kitchen because I had agreed with mom I would cook our dinner and bring it over to her house. Boyfriend usually sits with me in the kitchen while I cook, but this time he decided to stay in the couch and watch TV. And I started feeling really upset. Here I was cooking dinner in a hurry while he watches TV when I could have cooked while he ran his errands in the morning and I didn't yet have a cake to eat. The door rang, and I was so upset that the door was ringing while I was late cooking, but it was an order from a friend of mine, who had ordered some balloons for me. And I've always dreamed about having this giant balloons for my birthday, and I felt awful that I was so upset when people trying to make me feel good, and I lost it. I had a meltdown, which lead to the boyfriend having a meltdown, which turned into a couple hours of uncontrollable sobbing, and feeling miserable, and wishing the whole day to be over. Blah blah drama queen.
I felt like I was really birthdayzilla. This was really too much hassle over a single day, and completely avoidable if I can just keep my expectations down. So next year when zombie apocalypse is upon us ruining my birthday once again, all I will ask for is that I'm not eaten by a zombie on that day.
In the meantime I have my balloons to enjoy
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