Went out for a short walk to stretch my legs after breakfast and got waylaid by a nice older woman. Believe me when I tell you the conversation went exactly like this:
Lady: Boy, it sure is a pretty day! How many times did you go around the pond?
Me: Yes, very nice out. Good morning! Just the one time around, stretching my-
Lady: Just like my cat! He's over there. Now, you can't pet him, he's got a good side and an evil side and that evil side he'll just scratch the devil out of you every morning my husband says "kitty kitty" and reaches down and comes back with a bloody arm he never learns of course he's blind in one eye and some days, he'll say "Leslie," that's me, Leslie, he'll say, "Leslie, my eye's doing good today, let's go on down to the Cracker Barrel," and I think, "Oh boy!" and I get my good clothes on, not these old things, these are just for walking around in, and I get all ready and then he says, "I'm sorry, it's clouding over," and then we can't go, of course, but that's ok because I was a crossing guard for years and years that's why I still wear this orange cap and these orange shoes because they could see me, you know, and nowadays it's all cell phones and they'll run you right down that's why I always make sure my cat gets across the street because they have a little fountain over there he likes to drink from and they even put a little food out for him in a little plastic tray, 'cause of course they're not aluminum any more like in my day you can't put that in the microwave you know.
Me: I know. Well, my wife-
Lady: Oh, yeah, I know how us wives are! We gotta keep and eye on you fellas. Of course, when I was first married, we didn't say a whole lot, but nowadays, the wives run the show, don't they? That's ok, it all evens out, I guess, and my friend, she's a nurse, so she know all about this Covid, of course, and she won't hardly come outta her house and I tell her, "Jan, you've got to see people, you've got to talk and visit," so I did finally get her to go down to the Tuck Senior Center, you know, just over there, for exercises we do and it's so spaced out like a chair here and a chair there and so on but she gets there last and leaves first so she don't have to squeeze through the door with everyone, but at least she's getting out.
Me: That's good. Look, I've-
Lady: She usually takes me for my groceries, you know, and she'll say, "Leslie, do you want an apple fritter today?" You know, an apple fritter is like a doughnut kind of thing and I'll say, "What, am I drooling?" and she'll just laugh and say...