The neighbor who lives across the hall called at my house again yesterday. It's the second or third time she has called me to say I need to call on her often because she feels very lonely. I really don't like this woman and I keep contact with her to a bare minimum. She complains about other neighbors for things like they walking in slippers in their home at 2AM or being awake too late, woke me up at 3AM because she was at her door yelling to the neighbor upstairs, leaves her trash bag on the hall of the building, has the TV so loud I listen to her soap opera every night, and I have a hunch she probably complains about me to the other neighbors' because that seems to be her style. She asked one of the neighbors to put a sign on the building saying it's mandatory to wear a mask inside, but she called on me not wearing a mask. I shrug it off because she's old, and her son works for the city council that manages this building. She's probably in her 60s, lives alone autonomously, seems fairly healthy, and is capable enough to cover her entire face in colorful makeup every time she goes out. She's lived in this area for 40 years, yet doesn't seem to have a friend whom she could call and meet for a walk outside, which makes me suspect she's not a likeable person. Her son lives nearby, but I think he only visits once or twice per week. She's not a fragile old lady abandoned in her house and I honestly don't feel a moral obligation to check on her.
I did knock on her door for a chat a while ago, she didn't return the favor for a long time so I thought we were good. I could check on her more often, but I have a gut feeling that will turn into her knocking on my door more frequently. I love spending time alone and I plan my weeks around quality alone time. I hate having people show up at my house unannounced, and this is non negotiable. I spend more time alone than most people I know, and I love it. I see a couple people every week, I have people I can call or message anytime and make plans with, being alone and knowing I can have company if I want is all I need to not feel lonely. And I do not understand how this woman would enjoy the company of someone who clearly shows no interest in spending time with her, because to me there's no company without connection. I have a very sociable job and whenever I felt lonely, superficial work interactions with people who have no genuine interest in me didn't make me less lonely.
This is something I have often wondered, how to navigate loneliness in old age. Some people seem like they want to rely on their children's company forever. But parents and children will always be in a different plane, it'll always be an imbalanced power relationship. Most people I know don't genuinely enjoy spending time with their parents. I know some people who do, but they have social circles their parents' are not a part of, and when they start their own families they're more busy and have less time available for the parents. Will I still enjoy being alone when I'm old? (I hope I do, that'll make my life much easier!). If I do have children, will I be so silly that I drop my entire social life for the sake of the children, and then expect my adult children to keep me company everyday when I'm old? I don't know...
