Today's breakfast was an adventure.
The plan was to just have yer basic soft-boiled eggs, some bacon, and some toast.
Why, oh why, do soft-boiled eggs baffle me so? I can boil eggs from the same carton or farm at the same water temp for the exact same time and get runny whites one week, perfect eggs the next week, and damn-near hard-boiled the next week. It must be down to the individual chicken and how much shell they feel like creating that day.
Today, though, I surpassed even myself in eggy hijinks. Boiled them the usual six-and-half minutes, as that seems to be where I have the best luck. Got everything plated, smacked the egg, and a lot of gooey white came out. Poked into it a little bit and it was definitely very, very undercooked. It was barely holding together.
Hopped back in the kitchen and grabbed the wife's egg and tossed it in the still gently bubbling water (electric burners to my advantage for once), cranked the heat back up and let it go a full minute and 15 seconds longer, then plopped it back out.
Onto mine: since I knew from previous experience I was going to hose this up anyway, I decided to try a quick zap in the microwave. I rarely use the microwave to cook anything, but we'll give it a shot.
"Hey, if the shell is already well-cracked on an egg, it won't explode in the microwave, will it?"
"Nope, not if the shell is cracked."
Pause to point out that you should never ask someone who's never cooked anything any cooking advice whatsoever. That's on me.
10 seconds in the microwave, I figure that's plenty, and no explosion. Great!
Sat down, removed the already-cracked top of my egg...hey, the white's set now, so that's good.
Stabbed my spoon into the little layer of white to get to the yolk...BLURP!...egg-splosion!
You know how Elmer Fudd looks after he stares down the barrels of his shotgun to figure out why it's not working and ends up shooting himself? Imagine that, only yellow. That was me.
"Well, you were wrong about the cracked shell!"
"No I wasn't - I said 'in the microwave,' and it didn't explode 'in the microwave.'"
On top of that, the stupid thing was very hard-cooked. Thankfully, I can eat eggs any which way, which now includes scraped off my glasses, apparently.
On to the wive's egg - this one, I think I need to call NASA or something, because I somehow managed to produce an egg that had a solid-ish yolk, but a fairly runny white. I didn't think that was even possible.