The General Chat Thread (2023)

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

I don't do Facebook so it's taken 9 days for this info to reach my ears. He went on the Alps trip, had an RTA and is a hospital in Grenoble paralysed from the waist down.
Very upsetting.

Mr Slowly is in the middle of gaming. I really don't want to tell him but I have to don't I 😞

It's not nice when you find out news like that. It acts as a reminder on how fragile life actually is.

Hubby and I met a newly married couple on their honeymoon whilst we were cycling south through Finland. We bumped into them first time around at a camp site in the far north of Finland. We had the same tent and the following morning we noticed, when they were airing their sleeping bags, that we had the same air mats and sleeping bags, stove and a few other bits of kit.

In Scandinavia, most camp sites have camp kitchens and we got talking to them over breakfast. We were staying an extra night on the site for our weekly break (and shower etc), so ended up chatting to them over evening meal and the following breakfast. They were heading north, we were heading south so we didn't expect to meet them again.

About a week late on a quiet Finnish road, I'd stopped to put talc down my Lycra shorts to stop chaffing and just as I put my hand down there, I heard a vehicle! Typical... so out it came with talc still on the hand whilst we waited for it to pass... it did pass, then it stopped and reversed back up to us!... realising who it was (she was training to be a nurse), I applied the talc whilst they were walking over to chat to us.

They were camped about an hour's cycle ride away and invited us to join them for a few days kayaking and berry picking (it was peak blueberry and cranberry season). We did join them for 3 nights before we carried on. It was great to get out on the lake and see the fresh water seals that are unique to there and 1 lake in Russia. We stayed in touch even after our tour ended.

It was the second or third Christmas we were back in the UK when we realised we hadn't heard from them for the month. Looking back we now realise we hadn't heard from her for longer. He hadn't said anything but he'd had her committed for her own safety. After a 6 month spell as a inpatient, she'd managed to convince her doctors she was OK, and was finally released. She had taken her own life within a week. To say it was devastating to all concerned was putting it mildly.

(We're still in contact with him and his 2nd wife.)

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

That's terrible. I expect you have told Mr S by now. I remember long ago that my (then) partner heard his best friend, a top aerobatic pilot, had been in a serious air crash and was in hospital in Brighton. As soon as he heard this, which was late at night, he said 'I'm going down there now'. We lived in Hampshire at the time and he was a keen cyclist. He leapt on his bike and cycled overnight to Brighton (about 60 miles). I thought he was mad but I also understood that feeling of needing to do something.

Thanks MG

The feeling you should do something is quite overwhelming but really there isn’t anything to do. Having watched and helped people go through dramatic life changing events I’m aware it’s a very long process with some very deep lows.

Well wishers who are (unlike your husband) on the periphery of the persons life rather than close family and friends often mean well but they can be a huge drain on a patient. They have so much to deal with themselves physically and mentally and often find the unintentionally insensitive comments and pitying looks quite depressing.

They are often also in the unenviable position of having to comfort the people who visit and get upset which is far more common than you’d think. Telling visitors they are fine and not to worry when they really aren’t fine and are being drained by trying to support others makes you quickly realise why hospital sisters often limit the visiting hours and number of people allowed at the bedside.

Apart from leaving a donation and well wishes on the fundraising page I should politely stay out of it until later when the ghouls have moved on and for Rich the boredom sets in, that’s when I might be a tiny bit useful.

On an up note the UK biking community is a good one, they already have over 35k raised to help with the difficulties ahead.

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

It's not nice when you find out news like that. It acts as a reminder on how fragile life actually is.

Hubby and I met a newly married couple on their honeymoon whilst we were cycling south through Finland. We bumped into them first time around at a camp site in the far north of Finland. We had the same tent and the following morning we noticed, when they were airing their sleeping bags, that we had the same air mats and sleeping bags, stove and a few other bits of kit.

In Scandinavia, most camp sites have camp kitchens and we got talking to them over breakfast. We were staying an extra night on the site for our weekly break (and shower etc), so ended up chatting to them over evening meal and the following breakfast. They were heading north, we were heading south so we didn't expect to meet them again.

About a week late on a quiet Finnish road, I'd stopped to put talc down my Lycra shorts to stop chaffing and just as I put my hand down there, I heard a vehicle! Typical... so out it came with talc still on the hand whilst we waited for it to pass... it did pass, then it stopped and reversed back up to us!... realising who it was (she was training to be a nurse), I applied the talc whilst they were walking over to chat to us.

They were camped about an hour's cycle ride away and invited us to join them for a few days kayaking and berry picking (it was peak blueberry and cranberry season). We did join them for 3 nights before we carried on. It was great to get out on the lake and see the fresh water seals that are unique to there and 1 lake in Russia. We stayed in touch even after our tour ended.

It was the second or third Christmas we were back in the UK when we realised we hadn't heard from them for the month. Looking back we now realise we hadn't heard from her for longer. He hadn't said anything but he'd had her committed for her own safety. After a 6 month spell as a inpatient, she'd managed to convince her doctors she was OK, and was finally released. She had taken her own life within a week. To say it was devastating to all concerned was putting it mildly.

(We're still in contact with him and his 2nd wife.)

Thanks for taking the time to post that.
It is always painful when something hard happens and you question yourself about whether you should have known or what you feel you could have done.

Of course in the position you’ve found yourself in there really was nothing but for some reason we’re rarely satisfied with that.

I think you would probably understand better than most what landing up in a wheelchair does to a person mentally, especially if they don’t have hope it’s temporary and they will get out of it again.

When I did my nursing degree waaay back in the mists of time they very cleverly made all the students spend an afternoon in a wheelchair in an educational campus to help us understand the challenges.

It was an unpleasant experience. The buildings that were supposedly set up with disabled access were very hard to navigate, rooms too small to manoeuvre in and out of without assistance, door handles too high, doors that are excessively heavily weighted you can’t open from a chair, toilets that really weren’t wheelchair friendly and being treated like I’d had a lobotomy.

The patronising aw poor thing, what a shame comments, help when you didn’t want it from people grabbing the chair and pushing it (very unnerving) and their poor gross motor skills as they crashed you into a wall or corner.
And the thing I struggled with most - having to constantly express gratitude for the help I didn’t want to need. Independence is such a crucial factor.

It changed my perceptions for good. The next time I dealt with an angry patient in a wheelchair I felt I understood better why you’d get angry.

Knowing Rich an active person has all this coming his way is enough to wake me at 2am worrying he’ll be ok and knowing at least for sometime he won’t be.

 

[caseydog]

I don't remember where I read it and it's been quite a while, but a reputable person/institution extrapolated current population growth at that time, with the resulting numbers showing that blacks, followed by Hispanics will become the majorities, with Caucasian people becoming a minority group in the US in the next 30 to 50 years if I remember the time frame correctly. So MAGA is not entirely wrong about the one thing.

America was once 100-percent Native Americans (AKA: American Indians. White Europeans killed them and took their land, making America predominantly white. And, Texas was once part of Mexico, until we took it by force. African Americans were brought here by force to be used as slaves. Now a bunch of people are worried about America becoming less white. Go figure.

CD

 

[caseydog]

Everyones just chucking money at a fund raising page to try and help but it all seems very hollow!

Give that some more thought. If he is paraplegic, he is going to need money. Hopefully, for surgeries and therapy to get him walking again, but if not, his whole life, including his career, is going to change dramatically.

CD

 

[JAS_OH1]

Last night at my cousin's house I slept in my aunt's bed. She lived with my cousin for about a year before she passed away. She was my mom's only sister. Tonight I'm at my brother's house sleeping in my mom's bed (she passed in 2015) for the last night before flying back to Ohio tomorrow. Bittersweet.

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

Give that some more thought. If he is paraplegic, he is going to need money. Hopefully, for surgeries and therapy to get him walking again, but if not, his whole life, including his career, is going to change dramatically.

CD

Hmm maybe that didn’t come across as intended. There is nothing wrong with chucking money at it, as much as you can comfortably spare.
It is essential for what lays ahead. We all know that.
Chucking money at it is more an expression of frustration that that is all we can do.

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

Last night at my cousin's house I slept in my aunt's bed. She lived with my cousin for about a year before she passed away. She was my mom's only sister. Tonight I'm at my brother's house sleeping in my mom's bed (she passed in 2015) for the last night before flying back to Ohio tomorrow. Bittersweet.

Certainly is.

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Knowing Rich an active person has all this coming his way is enough to wake me at 2am worrying he’ll be ok and knowing at least for sometime he won’t be.

Yeah, it won't be easy.
I literally went from cycling 1,500km a month with an 80km (total, not each way) cycle commute to ending up in a wheelchair overnight. I was also told by physios in the UK, that I'd not get out of it (whilst the disability assessment people were telling me I didn't need it and should be working full time ).

First time I was in rehab in Australia I met a teenage girl who had been hit on a zebra crossing and left for dead. She'd been in ICU for 2 weeks in a coma and months in there before rehab. She been in rehab for 9 months at that point and was at the point where family could take her out during the day but she really was going through hell. The general public think being paralysed from the waist down is simply a loss of the use of the legs, but don't realise that it includes double incontinence at the same time to name just 2 other issues.

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

Yeah, it won't be easy.
I literally went from cycling 1,500km a month with an 80km (total, not each way) cycle commute to ending up in a wheelchair overnight. I was also told by physios in the UK, that I'd not get out of it (whilst the disability assessment people were telling me I didn't need it and should be working full time ).

First time I was in rehab in Australia I met a teenage girl who had been hit on a zebra crossing and left for dead. She'd been in ICU for 2 weeks in a coma and months in there before rehab. She been in rehab for 9 months at that point and was at the point where family could take her out during the day but she really was going through hell. The general public think being paralysed from the waist down is simply a loss of the use of the legs, but don't realise that it includes double incontinence at the same time to name just 2 other issues.

Well I hope the Docs are wrong but apparently his “spinal cord is severed” which is not the words you use when there’s hope.

It’s huge a mountain climb for sure.

Good news update, he’s was out of ICU a few days ago and they have stabilised him enough to fly him to a hospital near his home which will at least make life easier for his wife and kids.
Being in hospital in country where you don’t speak the lingo is not great.

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

I’m pleased to report the Spanish election saw a drop in seats of the extreme right party Vox from 52 to 33.
I find this encouraging.

This means as other parties are not keen to back anything Vox is involved in and there is no clear majority there is going a protracted period of negotiation before any government could potentially be formed.

Vox campaigns on the usual hate speech you’re familiar with, with immigration being their most important issue.

The surveys show Spanish people are most concerned with the economy not immigrants.
Immigration is considered important by only 2% of the population. Huzzah 🥳

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Being in hospital in country where you don’t speak the lingo is not great.

Yeah, been there done that, in rural Turkey... sorry Türkiye. The surgeons spoke no English and the person who came to our assistance was afraid of blood (and I needed +114 stitches to a dog bite on my leg but hubby got bitten first by the same dog). When it came to the plastic surgeon he'd never seen skin as pale as mine (I'm a red head originally, very pale skin almost translucent and I only go brown when my freckles join up! ) I ended up showing him my other leg so he could compare the colour.

I opted to have it sewn back together in local anaesthetic and stayed at a hotel with our (now friend) helper taking us to numerous outpatient appointments. We only had our bikes for transport and didn't speak much other than please and thank you, plus a few basic food words we'd picked up along the way.

It doesn't sound good for your friend. My spinal cord was received only minor damage but was still bleeding into the spinal column 5 weeks after my birth defect failed catastrophically. That damage from disk fragments, and the pressure from the bleeding was enough to leave permanent damage and surgery only helped return about 75% of what I lost. But even that took 3 or more years to come back.

He's going to need a lot of support and friends and he's going to find out who his real friends are very quickly, sadly. As you said before people don't know who to deal with it so they don't and they just vanish.

 

[caseydog]

I’m pleased to report the Spanish election saw a drop in seats of the extreme right party Vox from 52 to 33.
I find this encouraging.

This means as other parties are not keen to back anything Vox is involved in and there is no clear majority there is going a protracted period of negotiation before any government could potentially be formed.

Vox campaigns on the usual hate speech you’re familiar with, with immigration being their most important issue.

The surveys show Spanish people are most concerned with the economy not immigrants.
Immigration is considered important by only 2% of the population. Huzzah 🥳

The economy is doing great here, with inflation down to 3-percent, and unemployment down to 3.6 percent.

But, a lot of people don't "feel" like it is that good. That comes from some politicians saying it is not good, and the media echo chamber giving them a free pass.

Nobody can say that immigrants are "taking American jobs," so it's got to be something else. In fact, Florida is losing immigrant workers at a fast rate due to new anti-immigrant laws there, and business, especially farms, are begging them to come back.

CD

 

[TastyReuben]

Now a bunch of people are worried about America becoming less white. Go figure.

The one that makes me shake my head is when they acknowledge that. I’ve heard more than one person say, “Look what we did to the Indians! You want people doing that to us?!”

My “favorite” had to be from an interview right after Obama was first elected. Paraphrasing, but when asked what her main concern was, she said, “Well, they’re [Black people] are gonna treat us like second-class citizens now. We been doin’ it to them, and now they’re gonna do it to us!”

 

[Morning Glory]

Well wishers who are (unlike your husband) on the periphery of the persons life rather than close family and friends often mean well but they can be a huge drain on a patient. They have so much to deal with themselves physically and mentally and often find the unintentionally insensitive comments and pitying looks quite depressing.

Quite right. In this case my then partner* was incredibly close to the pilot concerned and I think he probably did the right thing in going. The good news was that he survived relatively unscathed (much to everyone's surprise) and went on to fly again.

*not my husband - don't believe in marriage, as is well documented elsewhere! Not so much here, but in day to day life I get really annoyed at the assumption that Steve (who I live with and support as a carer) is my husband. It is similar to the intense annoyance I had when pregnant when being continually referred to as 'Mum' by medical staff.