doubt that anyone in the UK would do that,
Really? I suppose differences are significant. Thank you for sharing.
Here it is very, very common. Not wearing black would be tolerated, but it makes for a very low percentage of people who would not wear black. It is a sign of respect, not so much religious determination.
If a person would tell me, no need to wear black, I would respect that too. When a school colleaugue died several years ago, we all wore black to her funeral, navy is fine too, dark grey also, but it is basically expected.
It is also not strictly prescribed how long you wear black. Depends on the closeness of the person who died and yourself. I reckon a month, as I wrote in this instance.
When my Grandma, maternal, died, in 2001, my Mom and I wore black for,hm, possibly 3 months. Unsure, long time ago. But we certainly wore. There was no doubt about it.
By saying I don't have to, I meant we are not married (or engaged, yet), I never met his Dad in person, unsure if he knew about my existance. However, in the 4, almost 5 years of boyfriend and me are a couple, we spoke so much about his Dad's declining health, his Mom's worries, the difficulties, all the medical issues, that I absolutely feel I was a part of my boyfriend's support system.
Above all, am grateful to his Dad to have created him, and respect him. His Mom as well, goes without saying.
I love my boyfriend, so to me co-wearing black is a sign of togetherness, empathy and co-sadness. This is how I feel, sincerely. He did not require it. It is not only the clothing, I prayed so many times, cried, supported, worried, so it is the whole package.
I am quite old fashioned in several respects, this may be one of them.
In the religious framework, it is a moment, period of loss, grief, but also humble joy and gratitude for the eternal peace and encounter with God and all the Saints and previously deceased persons. I won't go into that topic, but you know, we all do, what the dogmas are.
I appreciate your post.